Hugs to you, I understand how you feel. For me it's been a long time, and you're right, the pain for me is no longer raw but it is still there at times. Jane would be turning 13 next month, I can't believe she would have been becoming a teenager this year already. I was fortunate enough to have a rainbow baby the July after we lost Jane, but that hole in my heart , left by my firstborn will and can never be filled. Like my other children, I had hopes and dreams for Jane, they were all dashed on that horrible, awful day, I want to know what she would look like now, what her own hopes and dreams would have been, whether or not she liked tomatoes etc. all those little things that a mother knows about her child. I know nothing about her because she never got the chance to show me how wonderful she was, and I think that is what hurts me the most, I was cheated out of watching her grow up. After all this time and I still feel sadness over that. That being said, life does go on, whether you want it to or not, and as time passes it is easier and easier to live with the loss. It doesn't mean I like it though. My best wishes and thoughts are with you, I know how hard it is.

I forgot to say, Jane's final resting place is also in another country, away from us so we can't visit her either on anniversaries, I wish I could get there more often but I think I've been back maybe four times since we lost her. Four times in 13 years seems so few, but I'm sure she knows I think of her often. Again my thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Thank you so much. We eventually want to move to our "home" country once we retire and I didn't want to have to rebury Amelia. Also, my parents and extended family live there. I try to not be upset about her being buried there because I always say that her spirit is with me, regardless of where we live. WOW....13 years! The amount of missed moments are unimaginable.

Today makes 14 weeks since my baby boy Kowen was born sleeping. I feel like it's bee a lifetime and only a few week all at once. I don't really feel like I remember spring at all, it's almost like I woke up from a deep sleep full of nightmares and is was summer. It sounds like you honored Amelia beautifully, I love that you ate potatoes because that's what she loved. My Kowen loved jelly beans, I haven't eaten them since losing him but maybe on his 1 year birthday I will. Xoxo

Ah that is such a sweet way to honour her. You've inspired me to do the say, we'll be having Chocolate Doughnuts, Chocolate milk and Nik-naks. That's what Emma loved.

It's nice that you had a spot to bury her, we've still got Emma's ashes because I can't stand the thought of leaving her alone in a cemetery without someone to watch over her. Although I know her spirit is always with me, I agree with you, that you want their resting place to be with someone who cares for them.

I'm a little late with this post but Happy Birthday to your beloved baby girl Amelia. My baby's year is coming soon too and I know I will be a wreck. It was beautiful what you planned and did for her. Amelia will always be with you just like my babies. I wish you the best. Many hugs.