I know what you mean about your husband. Mine was telling me yesterday how he didn't experience it as deeply because he didn't have the same relationship with James as I did. It's true. I did almost all the preparation for baby in addition to carrying him and feeling all his kicks etc. But it made me feel so alone when he pretty much stated he is done grieving. We are only six weeks out and I am not anywhere close to being done! I know it's hard with the other baby. Protect yourself. Just let people know how you are feeling and if you're not up to seeing the baby or even talking about her, tell people that too. Don't apologize or feel bad, you just went through something terrible and it takes time. When did you lose your child?

Stephen was born sleeping on November 7, 3013. Granted, I'm in a much better place than a few months or even weeks ago, but I feel I have a right to be sad, and selfish in my grief. I already dislike his family and want nothing to do with them...the final straw was his mother sending me a baby shower invite last month. She's an insensitive and selfish woman. I am sorry for your loss as well.

I'm so sorry for your loss. There's no timetable for grief. There's nothing wrong with venting about your frustrations. Hang in there. I'll be praying for you!

I understand completely. My best friend had a baby a month before i had my henlee. I saw him the day he was born and have yet to have the courage/strength to see him again. Thankfully she understand. I hope your family understands too. Tons of love and support to u.

Your feelings are normal. I remember having a hard time feeling happy for others having babies. People would talk right in front of me about "so and so's" new baby and what she weighed and how she looked, etc. I just ached inside. This goes to show that others just don't get it unless they've experienced it.

My husband was done grieving well before me as well. He kept telling me I needed to move forward and that he didn't need to "dwell" anymore. It was very hard to deal with when I still ached every day for my little boy.

Hang in there! We know how you feel here....hugs to you!

It's completely normal how you are feeling right now. Eventually this feeling will disappear but for now you need to take care of yourself. Don't feel like you need to be happy for them, just take your time. I am very sorry about your baby. Big hug.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My angel baby was born on Feb. 28, 2014. My niece is also pregnant, 5 weeks further along than I was, as well as a friend, 10 weeks further. Both of them are having girls, like I did. It's so hard to want to be happy for them now, and really hurts me to see them having healthy pregnancies. I wonder why I couldn't have the same. Of course I would never wish anything bad, but it is hard to be happy for them. My niece is having her baby shower next weekend, mine was scheduled for March 29th. I just don't know that I can go to it now, my loss is just too fresh. I feel so bad because I want to support my family and friends but it hurts too much. I'm glad I'm not the only person going through this.

AurorasMom, don't feel as if you have to go to the shower. Your loss is so fresh. You need to do what you are comfortable with right now, and others should understand. This is something that definitely takes time. I think going to a baby shower at the time of my loss would've been extremely hard on me at the time. I had such a hard time going near baby items in stores or being around pregnant women at all. Take care of yourself. That's what's truly important right now.

I came on this site intentionally tonight because I am going to be facing the birth of a baby soon. It's been almost six years since my Isabelle Grace was born still. My 19yo daughter is going to be the birth coach to her bestfriend, single mother 23 having Isabella Joe within the next couple of weeks.

This has been such a life changing experience. I've witnessed many other babies born, I've been pregnant one other time and miscarried and applied to foster a young nieces infant girl to be turned down and the baby was placed in another family.

Through all of those experiences I've learned a few things about myself: Its perfectly ok to be focused on my pain and it does not mean that I am not happy for the new mother or family. Jealous envious yes, and it intensifies my grief but I wish them well and it is not my baby Isabella Grace.

I have learned how to care for myself during these challenging times: I let others know when it is tough for me and don't make them guess or assume I'm ok or not. I plan to need a time of recovery before during or after seeing a baby or baby experience. I don't force myself to "put on the happy face." I take care of myself and allow sadness and grief and recognize it is normal and necessary no matter how short or long it lasts, but I grab onto the Hope that in my weakness my God will be strong. He accepts my prayers even when my only words are groans and moans and inconsolable sobbing.

I type to not just ramble about me, but to offer you HOPE that you are not alone in this journey. I praise your ability to bring this topic out and Honor your child by acknowledging your feelings.

One moment of time, but you can keep moving forward.

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I thought the same thing about my boyfriend in the wake of our loss. He was very upset and then seemed to bounce right back and get back to work and life like a pro while I was in bed barely able to function for months. It was only after our relationship began to fall apart that we talked and he told me how much he hurt, and that all he knew to do was push it down inside himself and trudge forward, he had ben told all his life that men don't cry and men don't show emotion like that, I even remember his step dad criticizing him the day after our baby's funeral and saying "you got to stop crying, your wife doesn't want to see you like that you have to be strong". Your husband probably feels a lot more than he will ever admit, and please don't make the same mistake I did by thinking he doesn't.

As for new babies, I can relate. My best friend and I were pregnant together and she had her daughter in the room next to mine the day after I had my girl, and my sister had her daughter exactly 9 months later. It is hard now, but over time the pain does become easier to deal with. I'm sorry that you have to go through it anyway, so big hugs to you!

How lovely to see so many replies. I know my husband is sad and simply mourns in his own way, and I am ok with that. I have been doing much better on my path lately...going back to work has actually been good for me. I know I will always be missing a piece of my life and the tears will come at times, but I am able to function everyday, and that is what matters most right now. Thanks again to all of you! I find so much strength in your stories.