Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Secretkeeper2 11/13/2013

Hello all,

I just delivered my baby boy last Thursday at 33 weeks. While all appeared fine at my appointment the Friday before, I went to the hospital Wednesday convinced that something was wrong. I was then told that there was no heartbeat and I would have to deliver. Although I have three healthy daughters, I feel completely lost and devastated by this. I am replaying all the choices I made throughout my pregnancy, especially those last few days. I am glad I made the decision to hold my baby for a while before they took him away, but now I can't get his tiny face out of my mind. I feel like I am slowly drowning and am not sure how to go on...

deleted_user 11/13/2013

I am very sorry for your loss. A BIG HUG coming your way. I was told everything was fine 3 days before my son died @ 38 weeks. Nothing compares to the shock, devastation, confusion and un-realness of this time. I still think about him everyday, tho I do not replay the events over and over like I did before.

I hope you find the resources and support you need during this awful time.

Secretkeeper2 11/14/2013

Thank you for your kind words, they are truly appreciated.

deleted_user 11/14/2013

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. I lost my son Colton in August at 30 weeks. I'm still living a nightmare. This grief is huge, it takes time but I promise that the crushing feeling in your chest lightens over time. There's not a hour that goes by that I don't think of my son but I'm able to breath better as time goes on. I go to yoga twice a week, acupuncture once a week, bereavement meetings and I started going to a psychologist last week (I finally realized that I can't do this alone) he diagnosed me with PTSD, and I'm working towards living my "new normal" life. It's very, very hard to imagine life without our babies and it's just not fair. Please don't blame yourself or feel guilty...if we would have known that this would happen we would have done anything and everything to save our babies. You are not alone and I'm here if you ever wanna talk/vent. Big hugs to you. Xo

Secretkeeper2 11/15/2013

Thank you for sharing your story with me. It is nice to know that people are able to move past feeling that the world is caving in on them.

deleted_user 11/15/2013

So sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter 4 weeks ago today at 27 weeks, after a "normal" pregnancy. I have a son as well who is 3, and all I can say is he has given me more strength than I knew I had. I have a friend who has been through something similar, and she said she can't believe how "well" I'm doing as she didn't leave the house for the first month. But even though I am pained by not being able to give him the little sister we all thought he was going to have, I am reminded daily of the blessings we do have and try to appreciate those. Unfortunately grief also tends to steal your patience, so I wish you luck as you move forward.
I also replayed every move of my pregnancy... no answers is so hard.

Secretkeeper2 11/15/2013

I an trying to focus on the positive as well, though it has only been a week. I DID manage to get dressed and leave the house today to drop the dog at the groomer, stop at the library, and read for my daughter's first grade class. Though I ran out afterwards to avoid the parents and their looks of sympathy, I feel as though it was a positive step. Though as I read today and am coming to understand, "grief isn't linear."

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