i am sorry momma. yes this road SUCKS and some days are gentiler than others but it still sucks. I am almost 5 months into this nightmare. i lost my daughter Stella durring an emergency Csect 10-28. she was full term and perfect. there is no medical reason as to why she died and its haunting me not knowing. i have had some good days and some days seems just as bad as the beginning. Its a rollercoaster and it never "gets better" you just become more experienced at riding it~ thats been my experience so far anyways. Be gentile on yourself and some how find the best way that works for you to carry on with a sense of peace. it isnt easy, but necessary i suppose. ill send a prayer your way momma, and if you need to chat plse msg me. there are a TON of mommas on here that are so wonderful and helpful and have been riding this coaster for a long time. peace to you momma

Our stories are very similar. I just lost my Evan 3/14/11. I was 28 weeks along. Our placenta is being tested as well. The OB said it didn't look right when it was delivered. Know that Jagger has a friend in heaven named Evan.

I'm so sorry for the loss of Jagger.
It does start to get easier. We lost our son 3 months ago yesterday. I had a horrible few days leading up to it but most days I function ok. I miss my Colton and think about him many times a day. I still cry at some point every day, but not as hard or long. I can think of him and smile at times.
I'm glad you found us here. These parents are a wonderful comfort and support system to me. You're welcomed with open arms and many shoulders to cry on here.

wow. thanks for the fast replies. I am sorry we even are on this page together but if anything support is always good. I guess I cannot expect anyone other than moms that have gone thru this to "get it". Nobody will ever get this pain unless they live it.

@ vienna, yes, my dr said my placenta didnt appear normal as well. My ultrasounds showed nothing abnormal with it. so upsetting.

I am so sorry you lost your little Jagger. I lost my son too at 22 weeks in February.
This road sucks. Plain and simple. You will learn a different kind of normal and some days are better than others. It's a roller coaster though.
I have found peace in what happened simply knowing that my son is in heaven and watching down on us now. We finally decided to do something nice for ourselves and took a mini-vacation in the mountains. It helps. I hope you do find peace.. and I hope your better days come sooner rather than later. I will pray for you. Please let me know if you want to talk...

I am sorry about you losing your Jagger.I lost my Adalyn at 39 wks when I went to get induced on Feb.26,11.. We are also waiting for the Placenta to come back from testing the doctor said it didnt look right and it was small.But I do the same just sit and watch tv I dont want to go out and do anything I feel horrible and im so depressed.

But you are in the right place this site helps alot and everyone is soo friendly and supportive.

I am so sorry for your loss hon. We all know exactly how you are feeling. This is a lifelong journey that literally changes you forever. I can tell you though, its okay for you to feel the way you do. You are heartbroken, but you will make it thru. You will find things to make you happy again. I lost my daughter a little over 3 months ago at 22 weeks for no known reason and I can tell you that you will see bright.days again. Yes, I have bad days all the time, but every once and a while I get a good one.

I'm so sorry you had to join us here, but welcome to the group. You will find lots of comfort here. Hugs, mandy

I as so sorry for your loss. I lost my son at 37 weeks. The Dr's don't know why. His name is Jake, and he was perfect. They said I had a clot in my placenta, but weren't sure if that was the cause. It is so frustrating. Please know that someone cares, and even thought none of us would choose to meet this way, we are here for you. This is not easy, or fair, but we are here. Sending you hug and prayer. Shelly

Hey love. I lost my little boy Aaron at 39 weeks on Feb. 28, 2011. We went in for our scheduled csection to find he had gone to Heaven at some point the night before; what was supposed to have been one of the happiest days of our life turned into one of the worst days of our life. We don't have an answer as to why either. I think the roller coaster analogy fits our situations perfectly. I've never felt so emotionally overwhelmed by the constant changes in my mood.

I have an older son as well. He's 7 and he has helped me through this too because I know he needs me as well. I have to say things have gotten a little easier to bare...I still cry everyday and expect to cry everyday for a while. Sometimes I cry so hard I shake and feel like I'm gonna throw up. I guess my best advice would be to take one moment at a time. Let your emotions out. If you have no one to talk to, come here or write them down. I have found that talking about the baby has helped me. It just makes me feel better even if it makes me cry.

I'm praying for you and your family. For your peace and for strength to get through the journey ahead. Love Jessie

Goodness...I'm sorry I got ahead of myself with my last post. I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for your loss of your baby boy, Jagger. Again, I've got you and your family in my prayers. Love Jessie.