Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
Hello ladies :)
I came across this site today, and i think its just what i need. Since the loss of my son, i really feel like i dont relate to anyone anymore.
My son Mason was stillborn on January 7th 2012. I was 35 weeks along. At my 20 week checkup we found out we were having a little boy, a few hour later they called me saying that they saw some abnormalities in the ultrasound with his heart and would like me to see a specialist. I was sent to seattle to get a fetal echo and meet with the pediatric cardiologist and a high risk ob. at that appt we found out there were problems with the heart valves, and the overall squeeze of the heart was weak.
I continued to meet with the cardiologist every month, and from 22 weeks on i was seeing my ob in seattle every week. Our hopes were first put on reconstructive surgery, but then we found that his heart muscle was weak, so our last hope was that he would make it to term and be able to recieve a heart transplant.
I went in for an appt on January 2nd with the cardiologist, it was at that appt that i had recieved the worst news this far in my life. My baby boy was too sick to make it to term and recieve a heart. They told me then to choose a day to be induced within the next week. (they wanted to do it asap because he had gone into heart failure and developed fetal hydrops- so there was a big concern that i could develop mirror syndrome). I went in friday night to be induced, and the next morning my sweet baby boy was born sleeping.
(This is getting long, im sorry i tend to ramble and get to detaily.)
Since we knew about Masons heart early on, i had time to process the fact that he probably wasnt going to make it. But lately its been really rough. He was my first baby. Im 22 years old, my boyfriend is 24 (he has a 2 year old daughter also) At the time we concieved- my bf and i had only been dating 5ish months. So most of our relationship i was pregnant, and now grieving. So we have, in no way, had a 'normal' or 'easy' relationship. Our one year anniversary was right around the time of masons passing. And we've been struggling ever since.
I also had 5 friends and a cousin all pregnant at the same time as me, and we were all due within weeks of eachother. 3 weeks ago, the last of the babies had been born. All of these mommies now have their precious baby boys. And i have a headstone (oddly enough it got put in the same day my best friend had her son). I am so happy to be an auntie to these babies, but seeing them is a bittersweet reminder that my baby didnt make it.
Im glad there are groups like this where i can talk openly to women who get it, because lately i just really feel like i dont relate to anyone anymore.
I came across this site today, and i think its just what i need. Since the loss of my son, i really feel like i dont relate to anyone anymore.
My son Mason was stillborn on January 7th 2012. I was 35 weeks along. At my 20 week checkup we found out we were having a little boy, a few hour later they called me saying that they saw some abnormalities in the ultrasound with his heart and would like me to see a specialist. I was sent to seattle to get a fetal echo and meet with the pediatric cardiologist and a high risk ob. at that appt we found out there were problems with the heart valves, and the overall squeeze of the heart was weak.
I continued to meet with the cardiologist every month, and from 22 weeks on i was seeing my ob in seattle every week. Our hopes were first put on reconstructive surgery, but then we found that his heart muscle was weak, so our last hope was that he would make it to term and be able to recieve a heart transplant.
I went in for an appt on January 2nd with the cardiologist, it was at that appt that i had recieved the worst news this far in my life. My baby boy was too sick to make it to term and recieve a heart. They told me then to choose a day to be induced within the next week. (they wanted to do it asap because he had gone into heart failure and developed fetal hydrops- so there was a big concern that i could develop mirror syndrome). I went in friday night to be induced, and the next morning my sweet baby boy was born sleeping.
(This is getting long, im sorry i tend to ramble and get to detaily.)
Since we knew about Masons heart early on, i had time to process the fact that he probably wasnt going to make it. But lately its been really rough. He was my first baby. Im 22 years old, my boyfriend is 24 (he has a 2 year old daughter also) At the time we concieved- my bf and i had only been dating 5ish months. So most of our relationship i was pregnant, and now grieving. So we have, in no way, had a 'normal' or 'easy' relationship. Our one year anniversary was right around the time of masons passing. And we've been struggling ever since.
I also had 5 friends and a cousin all pregnant at the same time as me, and we were all due within weeks of eachother. 3 weeks ago, the last of the babies had been born. All of these mommies now have their precious baby boys. And i have a headstone (oddly enough it got put in the same day my best friend had her son). I am so happy to be an auntie to these babies, but seeing them is a bittersweet reminder that my baby didnt make it.
Im glad there are groups like this where i can talk openly to women who get it, because lately i just really feel like i dont relate to anyone anymore.
Poor you, what a terrible, terrible time you've been through, such a rollercoaster. I really admire your strength about your friend's babies, you are much stronger than I am able to be. My best friend's daughter was due a month after our daughter and I've seen her and held her, but I feel nothing. The deadness, numbness that came over me, when they told me there was no heartbeat,descends over me again.
So glad you found us and I hope you and your boyfriend find a way through this together.
Big hug
My fiance was so supportive and has been, for the most part. But I know he is grieving too... and I think it gets tiresome on him to have to support me all the time. I know we will make it through this because we need each other, but I also can understand why a lot of relationships fail after a loss of a child... it's the most stressful thing someone can deal with.
Cameron had hydrops too, but it was caused by down syndrome. I knew I was having a boy, but had no idea it would come to this... everything was so perfect in my pregnancy and then it all changed within two days...
Prayers to you... it's a difficult road.
Carol
In this forum you will find people who are in different places in this journey. I've been here for 20 months now and I've met some wonderful moms here who have embraced me and my angel, Annaya.
Annaya was Heaven born at 37 weeks on my 37th birthday, August 27, 2010. She was the most beautiful birthday present I could have had (I wouldn't have said that a year ago). She has 2 older siblings an 11 year old brother and a 6 year old sister. When I look at them, there's always an empty space where Annaya should be.
Use this forum to begin the healing process or as I like to say to learn how to learn how to co-exist with your angel. Grief is extremely hard work so prepare to go to war. Write in your journals as often as you feel necessary to get your feelings out and to talk to or about Mason.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Many Hugs!!!
Nneka
I understand the not having a "normal or easy relationship" My husband and I moved very fast in our relationship, but it has made us stronger, even though time seems to be flying by. I hope that the both of you can turn your struggles into your strengths and your relationship will grow even stronger than it was before.
Amy