Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
(I am formally krsnow36)
I am still in shock....I had a post on my FB timeline.....one of hubby's best friends, that hubby looks up to, gave hubby a big time lecture!
Essentially reminding hubby , before he met me, about him stressing in wanting a relationship with love and respect. Then, he found me. He loved me so much.
As time has gone on, hubby is not giving me the respect I deserve as his wife. He has become very selfish and also, he is a wuss when it comes to his kids and exwife. HE won't stand up to them.
His buddy pretty much publically on my FB (hubby was tagged) ripped into hubby. He said that hubby needs to give his wife (me) the respect he had for me when we were "courting" And to tell hubby, he needs to say "I am sorry" to me.
Then, after that....there were several comments after that.....saying "way to go".
He has said it publically to what people have been wanting to say.
With the exception of my own family and close friends, FINALLY someone stood up to hubby and essentially told him to get his act together and RESPECT HIS WIFE!!! Our friends knew, but it no one would want to say it.
That has been so overdue.
Now...the challenge....to get hubby to read that FB post. He is not on FB that often and when he is, he doesn't read the posts....he looks more at the pics of the FB friends/family. Or a subject he is interested in.
I am still in shock....I had a post on my FB timeline.....one of hubby's best friends, that hubby looks up to, gave hubby a big time lecture!
Essentially reminding hubby , before he met me, about him stressing in wanting a relationship with love and respect. Then, he found me. He loved me so much.
As time has gone on, hubby is not giving me the respect I deserve as his wife. He has become very selfish and also, he is a wuss when it comes to his kids and exwife. HE won't stand up to them.
His buddy pretty much publically on my FB (hubby was tagged) ripped into hubby. He said that hubby needs to give his wife (me) the respect he had for me when we were "courting" And to tell hubby, he needs to say "I am sorry" to me.
Then, after that....there were several comments after that.....saying "way to go".
He has said it publically to what people have been wanting to say.
With the exception of my own family and close friends, FINALLY someone stood up to hubby and essentially told him to get his act together and RESPECT HIS WIFE!!! Our friends knew, but it no one would want to say it.
That has been so overdue.
Now...the challenge....to get hubby to read that FB post. He is not on FB that often and when he is, he doesn't read the posts....he looks more at the pics of the FB friends/family. Or a subject he is interested in.
I know it feels good when people stand by us. I am grateful for my family and my in-laws, they all have been giving me all the support I need... It is a relief.
Good luck!
He needs a reality check, I'm sorry. I hope that no matter what happens, your friends and family are there for support, we will be here for you :)
This has been hubby's buddy that is like a father figure to him. He was best man in our wedding. He is now in his 50s. I do think the buddy has said things to hubby before.....but "one on one" conversations, don't always work as hubby may listen for 2 seconds.
With my situation, nothing has worked for the past years. We finally got the boys out of the house and stil lhave SD17 around. And she is creating even more drama.....her older brother passed down that torch to her. And she loves to get her mom riled up too.
Our friends have been very worried about me and don't know how I have survived the past 7 years of marriage. I almost didn't. There have been a couple situations recently that has happened with SD and our friends are in awe that hubby allows her to treat me the way she does.
hubby knows it is wrong, but he can't control his exwife or his kids. it's easier for him to ignore it. and I am hubby's "conscience" and hubby doesn't want to have that conscience, he just wants to ignore the problems.....and they are just getting worse instead of better.
I have a feeling that more friends will be speaking up directly to hubby. they are expressing their disappointment of hubby to me....I tem telling them that they need to go to hubby directly.....because if it comes from me, we just fight.
This was an extreme situation and needed to be done. Now, I am a bit nervous about hubby reading it....but, he really needs to. I will wait for the right timing to bring it to his attention.....timing is everything.
Why say it on face book?
Its nice that hubby's friend stuck up for you though.
According to the Bible, your wife is suppose to be as one with you and come first, I didnt expect him to dis-own his daughter I just expected him to demand that she respect me. To make a long story short, she was not allowed to come to my house and if she did I was not his babysitter for her. I had to back totally off because my heart would not allow me to help take care of a child that felt she didnt have to respect me. That may not have been the right decision, but I have two children of my own to raise. Needless to say that marriage ended in divorce. The respect that I should have gotten just wasnt there and one of the signs was letting his ex and daughter disrespect me....
I am not saying that you should divorce your husband, but you should expect respect from him and his ex and SD. I truly hope that his buddies message will get through to him in some way. Maybe you should print it out and have a little "date night" with him that consist of talking about it... just a thought
I did tell hubby about the FB post. He didn't see it, however, he did get the lecture from his buddy. I told hubby what the post said, and it sounded like the same conversation his buddy had with him.
Even hubby's father had told hubby to stand up for his marriage.
Bottom line, the stepkids are so undisciplined and as they have become adults and are becoming one, it just made them worse.
With the biomom in the picture, I do understand that hubby would not have all the control as she will try to undo what he does....but, what would make a huge difference is seeing hubby trying and demanding respect. Not just for me, but also for hubby.
His kids don't respect the parents.....so, now that spreads out to adults/elders....respecting no one. And this is where I blame both parents as they allowed this to happen.
I too, agree with the FB posting....in fact, I had deleted several posts in the past few years if someone said something...but, I was at the point of drastic measures. This was his best friend that wrote the post and this is unusual for him to do something like that....so, this one I let go through.
Our friends are getting tired of seeing the mistreatment of me from the kids and hubby just not doing anything about it.
The more our friends tell hubby, and I agree, face to face, the better odds that hubby will get embarrassed enough to at least attempt to do something
I should not have to completely keep defending myself and then getting into arguments because I am not going to allow the stepkids cuss me out or call me names. I know that they may think it and will tell others...but, that should not be allowed in my home and to my face....and they know they can get away with it.
Through out our lives, we will come across people who we just don't care for....I just ignore them, or don't deal with them. But, I have never had anyone ever bully me like these kids have done. I was bullied for the first time at the age of 40.