My husband and I have been married for 8 years - 8 years and I still feel like we are two families just living together. We each have two children from a previous marriage. My kids live with us full-time. His daughter doesn't want anything to do with him and his son comes every other weekend. My husband openly says he wants to be with me, emphasis on only me, not my  kids. I think that is cruel. I never would have married him if I knew he felt that way. I just don't understand.

When we first got married, he tried to be a disciplinarian with my kids, which I thought would be alright. It was not alright. We had different values and had obviously raised our kids differently. He was constantly being negative and angry. If they put the dishes away, they did it wrong. They ate the wrong foods at the wrong time, etc and etc. Now, I admit, my kids are not angels. If he pushed, they pushed back harder. I was constantly caught in the middle. So, finally I told him he could not discipline them anymore. I realize that may have been detrimental to them seeing him as a parental figure. I asked him to focus on strengthening their bond,and when he could show love and discipline, then he could discipline them. Instead, he just resented them more and more. Now, he barely acknowledges them at all, except to mutter some not nicety. 

The flipside is that I really love him. He is so sweet and good to me when it is just us. He is sweet to the kids I his own way- takes care of their cars, etc. He thinks I am overreacting about the kids, that I am way too defensive. I think that is true to a point. I just want him to love them or heck, at least put some effort into it!

I am just so tired of having the same conversation over and over. I am wondering if I have made a mistake staying with him so long. Have I harmed my kids keeping them in this relationship. 

How do I know when it is time to walk away and stop fighting? Does anyone have advice on how to keep my family together and happy?