Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
Bio mom hasn't seen the kids since November and hasn't called them since Christmas. We have no idea what's going on other than she had another baby and child protective services contacted us wanting her address and to interview us and the kids about her. yet they wouldn't give us any details about what's going on other than she's being "uncooperative" with their investigation. We don't even know who reported her to them this time.
I have no idea what to tell the kids. This isn't the first time she's disappeared on them, but it's the longest she's gone without calling them or texting us to say she's not coming for her monthly visits. The oldest one made the comment she doesn't even think about her or miss her (which I wonder if it's just a strong front) but the youngest will still ask about her. We recently got her into counseling to help her deal with her emotions and her behavior issues. I'm hoping that helps.
In the meantime I have no idea what to say to the kids when the youngest one does ask about when they will see her again or anything about her in general. Her birthday is coming up and i'm afraid since she's disappeared she won't call that day either. (she has yet to call her on her birthday in the last 3 years)
At this point I just tell them I dont' know because I honestly don't know anything! We've contacted a lawyer and have an appointment to try and look at our options since she only seen the kids 12 days out of the whole day last year and has a bench warrant for support that she doesn't pay. My husband recently got full legal custody and she hasn't shown up for the past 2 hearings (i'm guessing due to the bench warrant). her coming in and out every few months is nothing new by any means but it's getting to be ridiculous that we have to do something!
What is something appropriate I can say to them about her? I try not to say anything bad about her in front of them. How do you try to explain to kids that their mom isn't fit without exactly saying it? She has had 2 more children since leaving the girls and as far as we know she has both in her custody. They have made comments before about why she chose to have another kid instead of them. I don't want them to feel replaced. They don't see their older brother who lives with his dad and they have never met their newest sibling. I haven't even told them yet that she has had him though they knew she was having another one.
Ohhhh the things I'd love to say to this woman about taking responsibility for the 3 children she already has instead of running 200 miles away and having 2 more! Just had to get that out there since I can't say anything out loud!!!!
I have no idea what to tell the kids. This isn't the first time she's disappeared on them, but it's the longest she's gone without calling them or texting us to say she's not coming for her monthly visits. The oldest one made the comment she doesn't even think about her or miss her (which I wonder if it's just a strong front) but the youngest will still ask about her. We recently got her into counseling to help her deal with her emotions and her behavior issues. I'm hoping that helps.
In the meantime I have no idea what to say to the kids when the youngest one does ask about when they will see her again or anything about her in general. Her birthday is coming up and i'm afraid since she's disappeared she won't call that day either. (she has yet to call her on her birthday in the last 3 years)
At this point I just tell them I dont' know because I honestly don't know anything! We've contacted a lawyer and have an appointment to try and look at our options since she only seen the kids 12 days out of the whole day last year and has a bench warrant for support that she doesn't pay. My husband recently got full legal custody and she hasn't shown up for the past 2 hearings (i'm guessing due to the bench warrant). her coming in and out every few months is nothing new by any means but it's getting to be ridiculous that we have to do something!
What is something appropriate I can say to them about her? I try not to say anything bad about her in front of them. How do you try to explain to kids that their mom isn't fit without exactly saying it? She has had 2 more children since leaving the girls and as far as we know she has both in her custody. They have made comments before about why she chose to have another kid instead of them. I don't want them to feel replaced. They don't see their older brother who lives with his dad and they have never met their newest sibling. I haven't even told them yet that she has had him though they knew she was having another one.
Ohhhh the things I'd love to say to this woman about taking responsibility for the 3 children she already has instead of running 200 miles away and having 2 more! Just had to get that out there since I can't say anything out loud!!!!
I'd go with something along the lines of "Mom means what she says when she says it......but it's more of what she wishes things could be....than what she'll make happen". I'd add "I haven't heard from her, and don't know when we'll hear from her next, but I'll let you know when we do".