This is my first post. Thank you for this important group.
I have been in the mother of my blended family for 12 years.
Some days have been fantastic(particularly in the first year honey moon period). SOme days have been so hard.
I have 4 adult step children the youngest is 21 and has a huge dependency on his Dad. This has been so hard my husband gets furious with the way he abuses drugs and him and when I contribute Im told off or shut out. Thank goodness we had a huge fight a year ago and he moved out. I have tried to have a relationship with him but he has little connections with any of his family sadly. His older 3 are functioning good people and I believe I have a good relationship with them.
My son met my now husband when he was 5 and we moved in together at 7 1/2. He's now 16 and a hal.
I believe my son is a good kid respectful, easy but my husband and him have had 2 major clashes over the years and one of them was today.
It seems my husband wants perfection from him even though he never expected his youngest son to do anything and he treated us all like crap a lot.
I got frustrated with my boy for not setting the table when asked then telling me"I'm playing exbox" I lost my temper(rare) my hiusband reacted to this and lost his then it was on! Telling my son he is lazy and if he doesn'tlike it then maybe its time for hin to go to his Dads. Then I saw red. NO thats out of line I tolld him. Huge nasty fight mainly between my husband and I.
Now my son says he hates his step dad and is moving out. "He doesn't want me here and thinks Im lazy"
I feel so in the middle. I feel like running away back to just my son and I like when he was little.
Of course I know this can never be the same again. We have a lot of love and a commitmment beyond a nasty firey fight.
I feel I should protect my son from any one. I feel he should set the table and do more around the house! I feel my husband over reacts and shouts which is intimidating and only causes anger between us. I don't believe there is any thing I can do to fix this.
2 years ago I came home to my son ccying thfough anger out the front of our house. He and my husband had a huge fight. It was close to physical. My husnband went away for a few days and came back met with my boy and apolgised etc. They have got along better since then. I could see my husband was so stressed and not coping with his own son's drug taking and rages. So today I was scared this was going to erupt.
Like I said I just want to run away.