Step Families Support Group

Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.

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shelbyalright 10/01/2014

SD has been lying to her father about where she's going and who she is with. I'm pretty sure she has been parting and carrying on with a certain boy. I have known this for a bit because of some facebook posts and such. But haven't said anything because whenever I do say anything about her wrong doing it gets taken wrong and her father gets really defensive.
He finally realized on his own and put his foot down. He made some pretty harsh rules for her to follow when she is at our home. Of course now she isn't coming to the home like she had been, in fact she hasn't been here since and is completely ignoring her dad.
But I am proud of him for being the father she needs to focus on her life and not just running around and parting with her friends. If she is to graduate in the next year she will need to put her energy towards homework.

deleted_user 10/02/2014

It is a relief in some ways to have your spouse/partner realize concerns with their biological children (even though you recognized them earlier). I was in a very similar situation. I would voice my concerns and feelings, but knew I had to wait for my husband to realize his daughter was not as perfect as he wanted to believe she was. That being said, I got no joy from his realization.
Being divorced is hard enough on kids and we may want to overlook the irresponsible/poor behavior of our kids to keep them close. Divorce is a time when they need us the most and we may fear pushing them away by "getting on their case" about what is they are doing. We overlook the concerns for so long and remain a peacekeeper and forget to be the parent.
I always tried to put myself in his position and wonder how I would feel if it were one of my kids we were dealing with. I probably would have done the same as he.
I hope all works out for both of you and his daughter realizes her father's actions were out of love.
Best of luck...

shelbyalright 10/02/2014

Thank you.....
I only want the best for my SD. Life is hard and if your not willing to work for what you want life becomes so much struggle.
I pray she sees that this is all her father wants for her as well, the best for his daughter.

shelbyalright 10/03/2014

This celebration is short lived. She has only been home for one day and has he boyfriend here. I don't like it when her father says one thing and allows her to do the opposite. What is the point of even saying anything to her?

deleted_user 10/04/2014

Like most things, dealing with family struggles is a process. The important thing to keep in mind is that your partner took a step in the right direction for the first time. His daughter may have come back, but it may not be too long before he attempts to "put his foot down" again. Patience isn't a trait that comes naturally for many of us. If you truly love this man (I'm not sure if you are married--not that it matters) and feel in your heart he is worth the bad times as well as the good, he needs you now more than ever to stand with him and be supportive and patient as he learns to deal with his daughter.
I wish you and your family the very best...

shelbyalright 10/05/2014

Dear Rustedhaylo,

I couldn't agree more. I want her here and I am willing to find more patients in this process.
I do love him more than I have ever before.

Thank you for your support

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