Step Families Support Group

Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.

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Step mum-

buffyboo1998
buffyboo1998
Ok, bassicaly i have a step mother.. my mum died when i was 5.. and me and my step mum dont get on, i really want tooo but it feels like she hates me.. she marrying my dad on the 2nd of may 2015 but im worried im gonna have to put up with the arguing forever and i dont want that, i try to talk to her but it feels like she hates me even though she said if she hated me she wouldnt be living with us still :( is there something wrong with me? am i missing something?
jlh2375
jlh2375
How long has she been in your life? It takes a small amount of time for us (I am a step) to truly bond with you. If it's been a long time, maybe you should go to your Dad for some help. It sounds like you are pretty willing and that is a very good thing. Perhaps the communication is not where it should be.

I am sure everything will be okay. I also don't think there is something wrong with you. Blending families is a very difficult thing. Things will get better just hang in there.
shelbyalright
shelbyalright
You sound like a very sweet young lady. And I agree, maybe a conversation with your father will help. If you were my SD I would love to have a conversation with you and make things as comfortable as possible.

Has there been any reason for the relationship to be strained? Not that that has really any reason for your SM to behave in such a matter, she is the adult in the relationship.

Maybe have a nice talk with your dad about wanting a better more loving relationship with your SM and how to go about doing that. I hope it all works out young lady!!
justwanttobeme49
justwanttobeme49
I have a step daughter. She is 20 years of age. Me and my stepdaughter get along. She isn't my daughter so I don't expect the same relationship like I have with my daughter. My SD stays very busy. She goes to college and have a part-time job and she is hardly home. When she is home I have to initiate the conversation most of the time. She comes to me when she have a question or concern. I would talk with your dad. He should be the one to help break that ice for you. She probably doesn't know what to say or how you feel.
RichardRyder88
RichardRyder88
The two of you need time to get used to each other. To buy time, I suggest you learn to use listening as a replacement for talking. It keeps fights from starting, keeps things neutral.

http://www.dailystrength.org/people/4097047/journal/10691627 for details.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The relationship I had with my husband's daughter/age 20 (prior to marriage) was rocky to say the least. Until I recognized what I was doing or saying to upset her and she reflected on her behavior as well, we couldn't be in the same room as one another. This placed a huge strain on my relationship with her father and the remaining members of our family. We discovered that what we may have been fighting/arguing about wasn't the real issue. I was marrying the man that meant the most to her and she didn't want to lose that bond and I was struggling with my new role as her dad's girlfriend/fiance and the responsibilities I was to have as the future stepparent.
Not knowing anything about you or your father's fiance, I can only encourage you to work on this relationship now rather than later. I'm not sure how long she has been a part of your lives, but it can only help to improve your given situation to find common ground and build on it. Hang in there--you may find your efforts will result in a healthy and loving relationship for all of you.
Best of luck!