Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
Does anyone have any ideas as to do to reinforce positive behavior? I figured thats why he is always misbehaving because we ONLY give him attention when he's bad and never when he's good. So the thing is I need to figure out what all to do to reinforce good behavior. I give him candy, let him play in the pool, give him juice. (We cant afford juice all the time its mostly just water thats why its a treat) but we tell him if he's good he'll get this stuff and he is just constantly "i want it Im being good" every second constantly and we have explained to him that bugging us like that is Not being good. he'll be saying it 60 times a minute if you get me. You can say your being good all you want it doesn't mean you are. He is a very smart boy he does understand it but sometimes he just gets in these bad moods where he wants what he wants when he wants it and will kill us over it. I have to come up with some other ideas to start off slow. To be honest the reason is because he is 3 and he's lived 2 1/2 of those years at his grandmother's house and over there they have three kids his age, including him and they ignore the kids unless they do something that disturbs them. Its something he is used to and I want to change it. I really need ideas on how to start slowly.
deleted_user
Use a daily behavior chart! Put on there: Keep hands to self; Be a good listener; and Clean up toys. Then at the end of each evening he can draw a smiley face next to each one if he did well at it. By the end of the week, he can earn treats or trip to the $1. He may need reminders or warnings, give him opportunity to earn. At first you may need to break his day in half. If he does all 3 in the morning, he gets to play a game with you (or something your willing to do with him) and if he does it in the evening he will get to pick up to 3 books to read before bed (or watch a favorite movie with you). There are plenty of "free" stuff kids are willing to work for, you just have to find out what yours likes and what your willing and able to follow thru with, good luck!
deleted_user
Your son is not beyond modifying. You already are heading in the right direction with him, reward him only when he is good, and resist in telling him that if good he will be rewarded because he should be good regardless of whether a reward awaits such fine behavior. Between the ages 4-9 are considered where a boys lifetime character traits are fashioned, so you still have time on your side, patience is the key for you to master personally though, good luck with it.
deleted_user
I have found that giving prizes for good behavior can cause a child to only be good to get stuff.. That's how it was with my older 2 but my SS is only 3 and I have found that praise works better then stuff!! When I catch him being good, I tell him things like "Thank you for being a good boy" Or his very favorite thing to hear is "oh I'm so proud of you". I do give prizes but usually they are things like him and I going to the park to feed the ducks or going to watch the airplanes take off and land. Praising rather then rewarding him with stuff seems to be working very well for him.
deleted_user
I use daily charts, too. Every time my kids make a certain number of checks, they get a reward.
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