Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
My husband is a wonderful man except when it comes to my children. ALthough he has never done anything to put them in harms way I think at times he expects too much from them. Yes they are slobs and yes at times they talk back, but basically they are good kids whom I never had a parent of a friend complain about. I am told how quiet and polite they both are. They do have their share of laziness, which my husband is right when he says it has to be addressed, but holy sh** enough is enough. No matter what they did it wouldn't be right. He is not only like this to my children, but also his own son. However I do feel my 13 year old son bears the brunt of it. I think some of it has to do with the fact the my son is very loyal to his father and has never given up hope that we will get back together. My husband always threatens me by saying "why don't you go back to your ex" and I further fuel the flames by saying "your just jealous because you know I could if I wanted to and you could never go back to your girlfriend she hates you". I know we are on a path of self destruction and even though we love each other very much my children come first before anyone or anything else indcluding him. He doesn't think we need counseling and that we can fix any problems we have in private be tween the two of us. I disagree. Please help ne get him to seek help. I have no problem going at all. Getting him to go is an0ther story. Thanks in advance for your help.
deleted_user
If you have no problem going to counseling, then start going without him, for your sake. He can join you later when he sees that you're making progress without him. It sounds like this is more about the two of you than about the kids.
deleted_user
Unique said exactly what I was going to say. Go to counseling alone. You will be amazed at the help s/he can give you, with or without your husband.
AnneL
First, I'll try to explain things from the side of the step: my stepson is a very lazy, rude, disinterested, unhelpful kid. His father does not see him this way nor does his mother. Outsiders aren't going to have the same contact with your kids as does your husband. I've wanted to walk because of this kid many, many times. There are no boundaries and no rules and I am powerless. It sucks being a stepparent sometimes. You may see your children very differently than he does and clearly he does. I know I'm the same when it comes to my stepson, however, I do not engage my stepson in arguments etc. My husband and I have been in counseling on and off for 3 years particularly over his parenting and my stepson. It's very difficult. His threats need to stop and he probably knows this. I think it is unfortunate that he won't go to counseling and you probably need family counseling. I'd keep bringing it up and I'd also let him know that you can't continue going on like this so it's counseling or most likely a divorce.
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