Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
Today is fathers day. And I was lucky enough to get it off from work.
And I'm spending my day alone.....
Its my fault, I offered to stay behind while my bf went to a movie with his kids and probably have dinner. I did this because his daughter always makes me feel like I am cramping her style by being there and because it is fathers day. Normally I would take this time to spend with my father who lives with me, but he's all locked up in his room feeling depressed due to his health and his biological daughter not recognizing him.
SO here I am. ALONE and its my fault.
I wanted my bf to tell me that it wasn't necessary for me to stay home, that he wanted me to be with them. That's I was part of the family.
These kind of days I feel like I am always going to be on the outside, never good enough. Never one of the family.
I'm guessing for a good reason.
And I'm spending my day alone.....
Its my fault, I offered to stay behind while my bf went to a movie with his kids and probably have dinner. I did this because his daughter always makes me feel like I am cramping her style by being there and because it is fathers day. Normally I would take this time to spend with my father who lives with me, but he's all locked up in his room feeling depressed due to his health and his biological daughter not recognizing him.
SO here I am. ALONE and its my fault.
I wanted my bf to tell me that it wasn't necessary for me to stay home, that he wanted me to be with them. That's I was part of the family.
These kind of days I feel like I am always going to be on the outside, never good enough. Never one of the family.
I'm guessing for a good reason.
It's not your fault, you were just trying to do the right thing, and be a loving person. There's not fault in that. But it's really painful to feel excluded. It's not the end of the world, and you didn't cause this. Tomorrow, or later tonight, you'll feel better.
I am sort of in a similar situation. My bf's daughter asked that I not participate in Father's Day celebration. Even though I didn't choose this, when he told me, I didn't argue about it, so it's kind of the same thing. Now I'm feeling horrible, which is why I came on here. So reading your post helped me a lot...thank you!
I wish there was an easy solution, but what I'm going to do is to have a tactful, gentle, patient talk with him about this in a few days when my emotions have calmed down and I have a clearer perspective. If I talked to him I would most likely be pretty upset and cause more harm than good!
All the best to you! Good luck!
Thank you for your kind words.
Today is just one of several days that I have been excluded. SO you would think I would be used to by now.
And I have such a hard time telling how I really feel.
But your right. This is the right thing to do. I am not part of his family circle. I guess I probably wont ever be.
I hope you have had a good day all things considered. I am trying to.
I will put in a chick flick and chill on my comfy bed, relax since I usually always full day on Sunday's.
So I guess I could just enjoy this day.
Thank you
Shelby
Lots and lots of love and blessings in abundance!!!
Loretta
I know in my heart that i want this work between us. But I also know how much it hurts to be left out. I would never dream of leaving him out of my family occations. In fact I sorta demand he is part of them. Becasue we are sharing our lives together....Or i am anyway.
Your a very supportive friend and I thank you for that.
Shelby
I agree with Lorrie, though. Your bf should probably do more to actively include you, whether they want it or not. Especially on Father's day, which is his day. It's not a day for the kids. I don't mean to cause problems, either, but you might want to bring it up with him that if your relationship has a serious future, you will need to be part of the family, which means you are included in major events and special days.
I think it's lovely, though, that you are willing to step back and let them have time together, which is necessary, too. Don't forget that you need time to yourself as well and it isn't your responsibility to be there all the time helping to "parent." I think sometimes we feel left out of that like it's a negative thing, when it can be viewed as having a lot of freedom, too. For example, to watch a chick flick and chill in your comfy bed. :)
I love being a mother more than anything I have ever done. I would never do anything to hurt his children.
I also want to be loved full heartedly. Not just when it suits them.....