Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
So as some of you may know from my previous post I have a 6 yo stepdaughter and my husband also has limited guardianship of her 8yo half sister (her bio dad is deceased) and both are with us full time. Their mom hasnt' seen them in over 2 months now, and this has been this way since the beginning. She still has her warrant out for not paying child support and no involvement in their lives....and she's pregnant with baby #5 but doesn't have custody of 3 of them. Yes the Michigan court system sucks as they will not stop this woman!
The two year mark on the limited guardianship is coming up so we filed to change limited guardianship to full and put me on as co guardian in case something should happen to my husband the child won't be taken away from her home. We also put in the paperwork that since the mother has not followed the placement plan that we would like her rights terminated so we are able to adopt the child which is a long shot but if bio mom isn't going to follow the court order they can terminate her rights. We get no help from the state for raising a child that isn't ours so basically we are raising her as our own anyways.
Two days after we filed the paperwork bio mom calls and tells the kids that she can't see them anymore because me and my husband are mad she don't have a vehicle to see them and they can look her up on facebook when they get older!!!!!
I mean seriously!!! The kids cried for awhile but my husband and I were able to calm them down. Since then they seem unusually okay. They have anger towards her and refuse to want to talk with her now but other than that they seem like happy normal kids. She has bounced in and out of their lives they are so used to it that not seeing her anymore hasn't caused much damage and to me that is sad. I'm sure as time goes on and they realize she isn't coming back that it will hit them harder and we are preparing for that. But I just don't get this woman. She wants to blame everyone else for her situation but herself. And to her it's ok to just walk out on your own kids then blame the only people who are actually taking care of your kids. We're pretty sure since she has a warrant she doesn't plan on coming to the hearing which is why she's just running away from her responsibilities. It's just aggravating! I dont' understand how the system lets people go months at a time without seeing their children and not pay support but have two more kids since and even have the baby test positive for drugs at birth yet they don't take away the kid!!! It's the same reason she lost the other 3 in the first place. The system is screwed up and this lady is screwed up.
These poor kids have fell through the cracks of the system. I can't even get the guardian ad litem for the kids to call us back! As long as the kids are taken care of the courts don't care, but what about the parent who is supposed to be responsible? GRrrr....
The two year mark on the limited guardianship is coming up so we filed to change limited guardianship to full and put me on as co guardian in case something should happen to my husband the child won't be taken away from her home. We also put in the paperwork that since the mother has not followed the placement plan that we would like her rights terminated so we are able to adopt the child which is a long shot but if bio mom isn't going to follow the court order they can terminate her rights. We get no help from the state for raising a child that isn't ours so basically we are raising her as our own anyways.
Two days after we filed the paperwork bio mom calls and tells the kids that she can't see them anymore because me and my husband are mad she don't have a vehicle to see them and they can look her up on facebook when they get older!!!!!
I mean seriously!!! The kids cried for awhile but my husband and I were able to calm them down. Since then they seem unusually okay. They have anger towards her and refuse to want to talk with her now but other than that they seem like happy normal kids. She has bounced in and out of their lives they are so used to it that not seeing her anymore hasn't caused much damage and to me that is sad. I'm sure as time goes on and they realize she isn't coming back that it will hit them harder and we are preparing for that. But I just don't get this woman. She wants to blame everyone else for her situation but herself. And to her it's ok to just walk out on your own kids then blame the only people who are actually taking care of your kids. We're pretty sure since she has a warrant she doesn't plan on coming to the hearing which is why she's just running away from her responsibilities. It's just aggravating! I dont' understand how the system lets people go months at a time without seeing their children and not pay support but have two more kids since and even have the baby test positive for drugs at birth yet they don't take away the kid!!! It's the same reason she lost the other 3 in the first place. The system is screwed up and this lady is screwed up.
These poor kids have fell through the cracks of the system. I can't even get the guardian ad litem for the kids to call us back! As long as the kids are taken care of the courts don't care, but what about the parent who is supposed to be responsible? GRrrr....
deleted_user
First of all- thank you for what you and your husband are doing. Any person (step-parent, grandparent, guardian ect) who willing steps up to help a child deserves a thank you. Trust me when it comes to the system I could not agree more. My step daughter lives with us the majority of the time. The parenting plan was agreed upon between my husband and his ex. Through the years she has fallen farther and farther down a slippery slope. He has tried everything to allow their daughter to not have to be taken and the parenting plan he thought would help. She does not follow it. She manipulates my step daughter, tells her horrible things that a kid her age does not have any right to hear and plus insults myself, husband, and our child together. The system is so messed up that when someone concerned about the situation at her mothers because she showed up without underwear in pants three sizes to small and her mom moved from couch to couch with her that DCYF told them there was no basis for a report because "at least she has clothes even if they are too small" and going from couch to couch "will not effect the child". They did not even look into it. Let alone we found my step daughter unsupervised (age 5) with no shoes on and on the side of the road playing and we took her to the police station so my husband could have them charge her with endangerment or something but nope they literally ripped her from our car and gave her back to her mother and said too bad. Now we try to file to get immediate full custody and they tell us oh you have to reopen your case first and that cost $300 to do and takes a little time. Now mind you we feed her, buy everything she needs, pay her daycare costs (including those from her mother's days) and yet her mother did not even get in trouble when the state found out she was claiming her on state aid when she doesn't even have her! I swear the system does everything but protect the parties who are trying to do the right thing! Now this poor child has to go through crap like this because of someone who is obviously unfit :( it truly breaks my heart but you are both obviously great people to be doing all of this! Truly you must be because it is so hard and frustrating and angering and emotional.
bluemoon23
thank you for responding. its very frustrating that the courts let this go on for so long. bio mom has agreed to do an open adoption so she can still see them. but I think she just wants out of child support. first she tells them she cant come now all of a sudden she can if we adopt them and she wont have to get warrants for support. I believe she is playing us and the kids. we go to court Wednesday and I hope and pray they don't allow her to continue to play the system. she even said she might not show for the hearing. and the kids are stuck in this mess...
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