Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
Well after months of worry, it has been decided that I will stay home and cook this year Thanksgiving. It will be me & my kids, while my fiance spends the day with his family. I know I'm going to sound like a hypocrite.... but on one hand I'm so relieved I don't have to go. Being ignored by his adult kids, snotty treatment from his daughter in law and just the total tense atmosphere that always comes when I show up.
On the other hand...I'm a bit angry and hurt. I feel like the behavior from his grown kids (and daughter in law) should have never been tolerated. He offered recently to yell at them all and tell them that they can't treat me like that anymore. But I told him that by allowing this behavior to go on for the last four years, he was basically saying its fine for them to treat me that way. So yelling now would do no good just make things even more tense and I can't handle that.
I have completely disassociated myself from his side of the family. I'm not sure if thats the right thing to do or not. I love him very much but I want to marry someone who is not afraid to stand up for me. His ex wife left him and he divorced her. He's always felt some sort of guilt towards his boys so he's really afraid of making them mad. I just hate looking down the road and knowing there really isn't a solution. It seems silly for us to even stay together. And what kind of message am I sending my kids when he leaves us every holiday?
I'm going to try and relax and enjoy the quiet time with my kids.....thanks for listening.
On the other hand...I'm a bit angry and hurt. I feel like the behavior from his grown kids (and daughter in law) should have never been tolerated. He offered recently to yell at them all and tell them that they can't treat me like that anymore. But I told him that by allowing this behavior to go on for the last four years, he was basically saying its fine for them to treat me that way. So yelling now would do no good just make things even more tense and I can't handle that.
I have completely disassociated myself from his side of the family. I'm not sure if thats the right thing to do or not. I love him very much but I want to marry someone who is not afraid to stand up for me. His ex wife left him and he divorced her. He's always felt some sort of guilt towards his boys so he's really afraid of making them mad. I just hate looking down the road and knowing there really isn't a solution. It seems silly for us to even stay together. And what kind of message am I sending my kids when he leaves us every holiday?
I'm going to try and relax and enjoy the quiet time with my kids.....thanks for listening.
Don't settle. You are right, what kind of message is your children getting from this. From your description, I wouldn't subject myself to their abuse either. How is the relationship with your fiance? And how long have you known each other? curious......