Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
The struggle between my parents and my SD living in the same home has gotten so stressful. It was one thing when her actions reflected on my life...because days I could choose to ignore and others, well I just suppressed it for the most part other than coming here to vent.
But she has continued to make life even more difficult for my parents. And that is causing my constant stress.
A little history.....My parents moved in to my house in March because we found out my father has EC, he started chemo right away. For sake of financial strain and emotional strain we agreed moving them in right away would be the best option.
Originally my SD was down stairs and had the entire basement to herself. My basement is huge, there is a family room, bedroom with fireplace, a storage unit, and a laundry room. When she was down there she had the family room as her room. She agreed to move upstairs so my parents could have the entire living space down there. I repainted the room she moved into, in fact we did it together. I also put more money in a rug and curtains, plus some Christmas lights for fun into her room. Anyway she was really happy about the move into a smaller more personable room, considering she has struggled with keeping her room before clean this was a easier option for her.
Do I agree that my parents being here has put a damper on our household...YES. But.....I would not have it any other way. We have all made sacrifices to keep peace in this home. MY parents had to give up their independence, their complete and quiet way of living. They have given up so much more than any of us have given up.
My boyfriend and I have given up our music being played loudly whenever we would like. Being loud and playful later in the night and some smaller things as well.
But my SD, she gave up her room. That is all.
She still stomps around this house acting as though she owns it. Stays up late with her TV blazing. On the phone late with friends laughing and carrying on. Brings friends here unannounced. Brings boys over in her room for hours on end. Eats whatever she wants. Showers for hours. Treats people like they don't even exist by not even socializing with any of us. Will take over the entire living room when given a chance.
I could go on and on.
Mostly my parents tolerate her behavior. They understand that she was raised so much differently than any of us.
ALTHOUGH......when she starts her laundry at 10pm and then comes down to dry the laundry at 4 am, that's when my parents have to say something. Which btw she has no need to do!! I personally cleaned her room and put all her laundry away so that she would not have any reason to go down stairs)....Come to find out she was washing one pair of jeans and two shirts in a load. .... I don't blame them. My father just had chemo yesterday for Christ sakes.
so......I asked her father to have a talk with her about limiting her time doing laundry.
And he says to me......how much more does she have to give up for your parents.....
I turned and walked away in tears.
I don't get it.
She will be the end of our relationship.
But she has continued to make life even more difficult for my parents. And that is causing my constant stress.
A little history.....My parents moved in to my house in March because we found out my father has EC, he started chemo right away. For sake of financial strain and emotional strain we agreed moving them in right away would be the best option.
Originally my SD was down stairs and had the entire basement to herself. My basement is huge, there is a family room, bedroom with fireplace, a storage unit, and a laundry room. When she was down there she had the family room as her room. She agreed to move upstairs so my parents could have the entire living space down there. I repainted the room she moved into, in fact we did it together. I also put more money in a rug and curtains, plus some Christmas lights for fun into her room. Anyway she was really happy about the move into a smaller more personable room, considering she has struggled with keeping her room before clean this was a easier option for her.
Do I agree that my parents being here has put a damper on our household...YES. But.....I would not have it any other way. We have all made sacrifices to keep peace in this home. MY parents had to give up their independence, their complete and quiet way of living. They have given up so much more than any of us have given up.
My boyfriend and I have given up our music being played loudly whenever we would like. Being loud and playful later in the night and some smaller things as well.
But my SD, she gave up her room. That is all.
She still stomps around this house acting as though she owns it. Stays up late with her TV blazing. On the phone late with friends laughing and carrying on. Brings friends here unannounced. Brings boys over in her room for hours on end. Eats whatever she wants. Showers for hours. Treats people like they don't even exist by not even socializing with any of us. Will take over the entire living room when given a chance.
I could go on and on.
Mostly my parents tolerate her behavior. They understand that she was raised so much differently than any of us.
ALTHOUGH......when she starts her laundry at 10pm and then comes down to dry the laundry at 4 am, that's when my parents have to say something. Which btw she has no need to do!! I personally cleaned her room and put all her laundry away so that she would not have any reason to go down stairs)....Come to find out she was washing one pair of jeans and two shirts in a load. .... I don't blame them. My father just had chemo yesterday for Christ sakes.
so......I asked her father to have a talk with her about limiting her time doing laundry.
And he says to me......how much more does she have to give up for your parents.....
I turned and walked away in tears.
I don't get it.
She will be the end of our relationship.
If you ask me she's being a selfish brat. Sounds like she's been living on easy street to me.
Your husband-Hmmmmm! That was pretty rude. When a family decides on something, like letting your parents live with you, that was a choice he helped make. You don't complain about something like that. Yes, he can vent with you and tell you his thoughts but to say something like that is not cool.
But I am still holding out for miracles.
Hopefully I am not wasting time doing so