Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
Hello, I just got married three months ago and my husband and I have moved in together with my son, almost 6 years old, his sons ages 6 and 4. Lately there has been a lot of jealousy and my son has been very violent and lashing out at my six year old step son. I try to take time out to spend with just my child. I buy him his favorite snacks and treats so he knows he's still my special, sweet baby boy. He is cold and stand offish to my husband. I think he behaves that way towards my husband because my parents say horrible things about both my husband and me when my son is present. Another concern I have is that my mother consistently shows up at my house unannounced. When I say shows up, she's parked outside my house like a creep EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am about to lose my mind with her and so is my husband. Since my mother treats me like shit and has no respect for me as a mother or a person, and no respect for boundaries, my child will treat me exactly as she does. I have talked to her nicely about it and I have been very aggressive with my point. My husband has asked her nicely to back off and nothing is working. I stay up all night worrying about my mother and my son's adjustment. I am at the point of filing for a restraining order against my own mother. I know my parents treat me horribly but that doesn't make it right for me to do the same (by pressing charges). Does anyone have any advice for helping my son adjust peacefully and getting my over barring mother to back off without the police? Thank you
If he hasn't had a check up in a while, get that first, and definitely tell his pediatrician your concerns. Then call the school to discuss concerns about your son. They often have a wide variety of resources for you to pull on.
Meanwhile, supervision, supervision, supervision. And if you think something is about to happen, intervene before it happens. Distraction and redirection are your friends. Make punishments milder and shorter than you'd think. I'd avoid the treats though. You won't get him out of this by rewarding the behavior. You also won't get improvement just by punishments. It's more the distraction, staying attached to him, and time.