Step Families Support Group

Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.

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FamilyReff 12/30/2016

I'm new to this site and this is my first time posting anything but after searching on the internet for hours this is the only thing I can find that I hope helps me. I have been married a year-and-a-half but living together for three and a half years. I have three step children and two biological children. One step-son I have never met, then two girls and 2 boys. My husband openly favors the girls and is hard on the boys. My biological son is not his biological child and seems to be the one who has the most problems with him. At first things weren't too bad until we finally got visitation of his daughter. He went about 6 months without seeing her and then after he was able to things began to really change. His favoritism for her started showing more and more. It has gotten to the point where her brother's resent her and she has now realized how much she can get away with from her dad and uses it to her advantage. Since then we have had a daughter together. I thought by having a common sister everything would get a little better, but I was wrong. My husband openly favors our daughters over our sons. I have tried to talk to him several times about this issue but he does not seem to think there is an issue. It is literally destroying our family. My son has been clinically diagnosed with depression and I don't know if that's the reason. I don't know what to do about it. Any advice from others going through this or who have gone through this would be great. Thanks!

djbritt 01/04/2017

I am sorry you and your son is going through this. I know it is hard. I would say sit down and talk to him but you said that you already have. Maybe you could talk to him again. Pull him to the side and point it out as it is happening. Another option would be family counseling or you could go to your local church leader. I wish you and your family the best.

FamilyReff 01/16/2017

Thank you for the advice. Unfortunately it isn't working. He knows he favors the girls and openly admits it to all of our children. My boys don't want to do family fun outings if their 7 year old sister comes because they are the only ones who get in trouble even when it's her instigating the situation. Family counseling is definitely an effort I am still trying to achieve.

CrochetMama 01/23/2017

Hi there. I am new at this support group and I am in a similar situation. I have a son through a different relationship who just turned 9, and I have a daughter with my husband, and she is going to be 6 in March. My husband seems to be extra hard on my son when it comes to discipline and just general "toughness"... And when it comes to our daughter my husband is just a big softie, letting her pretty much get away with anything so he doesn't have to hear her scream (she is the definition of a strong willed child). I am at a loss. I have tried to talk to my husband about trying to treat our son differently, but he is also very strong willed... And if I even mention family counseling it is an automatic no. He says the kids and I can go, but he doesn't see that anything is wrong. I don't know what to do... I wish you luck though, I know this is extremely hard.

carrie1987 08/08/2017

Hi there. I am going through almost the exact same thing in my family. My husband and I have two sons together (ages 3 and 4) and he has two other children from two other women (one who we just found out that was biologically his). When he got regular visitation of his daughter about 3 years ago, right after I had our boys, he did EVERYTHING with her, and still does. When it's her weekends to come over, he singles her out as if no one else exists in this house. His mother also singles his two children from other relationships out by buying them school clothes, supplies, etc and buying our boys nothing because she feels sorry for them (in my opinion). I am constantly fighting for all of his kids to be treated equally but every time we try to discuss it his response is "you don't understand". So apparently my husband does not see an issue with it either and honestly it is tearing our marriage apart :(

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