Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
I have been with fiance for 4 years. I will give you a bit of his background... He was always the most popular kid in school. A super-jock who excelled at every sport. Married the homecoming queen out of high school and they had two sons who are very handsome and also very athletic. His boys were stars in track, football and racing. My fiance and his ex are ten years older than me and the exwife is still modeling and in super great shape as well as my fiance.
Anyway to get to the point...my children have always struggled with their weight, eyesight, and they are less than coordinated. They have never been too good at any sports and prefer arts and music. My son is highly intelligent and is constantly complimented by the school on his work. My daughter is such a blessing for me, so thoughtful of everyone. I'm very proud of them!!!
There have been countless times that my fiance has made fun of people and certainly stereotyped them. He's never made fun of my children or made any comments towards their appearance. But will make fun of heavy people in front of them. I really don't want to think that he has issues with appearance but it seems like after four years there would be some effort to bond with them and I can't figure any other reason. My kids have been taught from day one that they don't have to like him, but they always have to respect him. Any disrespect towards him is addressed on the spot. So we don't have any of those issues.
He would never complain about them going with us some where, but his demeanor changes and he becomes quiet and distant. He talks over them and on occasion ignores them. I have to get his attention for my kids. Its driving me nuts. My daughter 16 complains because she will try to start conversation with him when they are alone. She complains he will just ignore her. Or make it clear he doesn't want to talk.
I guess its fustrating that he never asks about school work, doctor visits, plans, nothing. No interest. He tolerates them well, never complains if they misbehave or are loud, infact he never says a word.
I know his boys are grown, and maybe he didn't want to be a father again... but he's the one who proposed to me.... I just don't want to always feel like he's "tolerating" my kids to be with me. I always thought my second marriage would be with someone who loved my kids almost as much as I do.....
I was just wondering if any of you had advice or been in a situation like this, thanks for listening.
Anyway to get to the point...my children have always struggled with their weight, eyesight, and they are less than coordinated. They have never been too good at any sports and prefer arts and music. My son is highly intelligent and is constantly complimented by the school on his work. My daughter is such a blessing for me, so thoughtful of everyone. I'm very proud of them!!!
There have been countless times that my fiance has made fun of people and certainly stereotyped them. He's never made fun of my children or made any comments towards their appearance. But will make fun of heavy people in front of them. I really don't want to think that he has issues with appearance but it seems like after four years there would be some effort to bond with them and I can't figure any other reason. My kids have been taught from day one that they don't have to like him, but they always have to respect him. Any disrespect towards him is addressed on the spot. So we don't have any of those issues.
He would never complain about them going with us some where, but his demeanor changes and he becomes quiet and distant. He talks over them and on occasion ignores them. I have to get his attention for my kids. Its driving me nuts. My daughter 16 complains because she will try to start conversation with him when they are alone. She complains he will just ignore her. Or make it clear he doesn't want to talk.
I guess its fustrating that he never asks about school work, doctor visits, plans, nothing. No interest. He tolerates them well, never complains if they misbehave or are loud, infact he never says a word.
I know his boys are grown, and maybe he didn't want to be a father again... but he's the one who proposed to me.... I just don't want to always feel like he's "tolerating" my kids to be with me. I always thought my second marriage would be with someone who loved my kids almost as much as I do.....
I was just wondering if any of you had advice or been in a situation like this, thanks for listening.
I don't know what to tell you other than to ask questions. We're there signs of this behavior before you got married? Did you live togeter children and all before you married? Maybe he is keeping quiet so he doesn't say the things my step dad did. I don't know :( all I do know is its definitely not fair to your children they probably get enough grief at school because I know my brother did. He is overweight and use to lock himself in his room to play video games for days because he didn't want to be around our step dad. Sadly my mom and step dad had a daughter together and he has only seen her once since she was three she is now seven. Sorry I'm rambling.