You're not alone...not at all. I'm going thru some of the same things. I love my husband so much, but I am sooo stressed out & sick of the drama. I myself have thought about leaving, and go live some place else. I swear to God, I'm so emotionally exhausted...sometimes I feel like I am a breath away from a heart attack due to the stress. Stepparents don't get the credit they deserve for all the crap they end up dealing with. Not that I am looking for anyone to kiss my hind end, but would it kill'em to at least just say, Thanks!? The only person who ever thanks me is my husband.

The little girl won't say "Thanks" if her life depended on it, but she has no problem lying. She lies thru her teeth and her mommy is no better. Her mom is such a drama queen it is unreal. I have a few other choice words for her, but they are probably against the rules. LOL

Yesterday her mommy blew up and threw a screaming fit because my husband asked me to talk to the little girls Math teacher to find out why her grades dropped. We asked the little girl several times what she was struggling with in Math so we could help her and the only thing she would say is, "I don't know." For the record, she isn't a small child...she is in 6th grade. So, "I don't know."....doesn't cut it.

This woman threw a fit like you would not believe, I kid you not. Over 20 phone calls, and unknown number of text messages. She threatened to sue us for full custody and child support. All because we cared enough to ask her Math teacher why the little girls grades dropped. (Yes, please...tell a judge how I am such a horrible person for going to the school on my husbands behalf and by HIS request & asking the Math teacher why the little girls grades dropped & asking what we can do here at home to help!! It is terrible that her dad and stepmom care enough to find out what the problem is and try to fix it.) But you also need to understand that her mommy does NOT encourage her daughter to do better. She can bring home a failing report card, and she will hug her daughter & tell her, "Well, you did the best you could." It's frustrating for us to try to help the little girl get a good education when the mommy is praising her for mediocrity. So then the little girl gets an attitude that if it is good enough for mommy, then it should be good enough for you.

I sometimes think that life would be easier if we just gave her custody, and pay her child support so she can go ahead and quit her job & stay at home. She keeps requesting her work to cut her hours, hell...might as well quit. She constantly complains of not having any money, but at the same time, makes no effort to better her own life. However, my husband loves the little girl so much, as he should. He would be devastated if she went to her mommy full time. It would break his heart and honestly, it would break mine. I love her. I'm just so tired of the BS. Fed up.

I'm exhausted, and tired of crying. I'm tired of doing without things that I need so that she can have a better life & in return I just get drama and heartache. I don't mind giving those things up for people I love, but it hurts soooo bad when I do it & then I am lied to, disrespected, treated less than what I deserve.

This is a drop in the bucket compared to what the little girl did last year when she got mad at us. She lied and told her mommy that we abuse her. Talk about being pissed off. She is not spanked, slapped, or anything of the sort. No chores, really. We do ask her to do her homework as soon as she gets home, and ask that she pick up after herself. There are rules in the house, just as there should be. For example, keep your feet off the furniture, computer time is limited to ONE hour (unless it is research for school or educational & she can request additional time), and she is responsible for cleaning her own bedroom & bathroom (with exception of her walk-in shower, because the chemicals/fumes are harsh).

She lied to her mommy about the abuse after we grounded her from the computer when she broke the one hour rule... repeatedly. Her punishment was that she lost computer privileges for one week. We did some yard work the next day & my husband ASKED the little girl to help rake the yard and carry grass clippings to the curb. Me and my husband did most of the work out in the sun. The little girl worked at her own pace, in the shade where we suggested, and she filled her own bucket, and carried it to the curb a few times.

She goes back to her mommy and all hell breaks loose. She tells her that we punished her for using the computer & she hurt her back while she forced to bake in the hot sun while raking the entire yard...front and back, as punishment, and carrying the heavy buckets of grass to the curb! So of course her mommy flipped her lid instead of asking us our side of the story.

I was seriously loosing my temper and patience. I told my husband that we ALL needed to sit down & talk about this because that was an outright lie and bull crap. Luckily, a few days later, everyone agreed to sit down & talk. We all called out the little girl on her lies, and she confessed to everything...finally. But just when we thought it was over, she told another lie before we all got up to leave. She told her mommy in front of all of us that my husband MAKES her call me, MOM. Then she started crying, and saying she doesn't feel comfortable calling me, MOM. Her mom lost it, and told us that the little girl didn't want to live with us part-time (50/50) anymore. She told my husband that we should give her full custody, because SHE is her mom. Lord, how I kept my cool...I will never know. Both my husband and I have told her to NEVER call me mom. I'm not her mom. She has asked us several times what she should call me, and we always tell her to address me by my first name. She is old enough that she should not be confused at all by this. So, I can only guess that she does it to stir things up & cause drama.

Anyway, this got out of hand quick. I guess I needed to vent. Sorry! You're not alone. The little girl is a very bright young lady, and a pleasure to be around when she isn't playing these games & lying. Guess you can't expect much when it is obvious she learned it from her mommy. However, if she continues to treat us this way....I will leave. My husband needs to be there for her & he will, no matter what. She is not mine, and I am under no obligation. I choose to stay, provide for her, love her, support her, encourage her, and care for her. But we all have our breaking points.

I'll keep you in my thoughts. Stay strong! I hope things improve for you. (and me!)

thank you! helps to know I'm not the only one going through drama with the biological mother. I don't know why it's so difficult to get along but this lady has severe mental issues on top of her legal/drug issues.

Same here. I deal with constant drama from both the mother and daughter. Sorry for your stresses. Stay strong and smile at her childish ways, although I know very hard to do. Save all texts between you two, use minimal words to respond and maybe have her leave a message when she's on her way to get the children. I find if I cut out all chances of drama to happen (which I cant do with the daughter because she comes to visit) it saves me from dealing with it from the mother.
Good luck and stay strong!
Shelby

I try to refrain myself from getting caught up in her web. Some days I do better than others lol. When I do act nice and don't give in it just irritates her even more. I know I need to stop replying to her nasty texts, and I do save all of them and I'm glad I did.

Then when we were waiting to go into the courtroom she was sitting behind us and like she did last time she said "I have such beautiful babies I'm so lucky I can have kids" She knows my husband and I have been struggling to conceive and she does that just to irritate me and it worked. It definitely hit a sore spot but what could I do I was at the courthouse and I just looked at my husband who was about to blow up at her. I'm just so tired of it.
She's supposed to call the kids twice a week but if she's getting a ppo on me (or claims she is but she is the aggressor) I feel like I should ignore the call so to not put myself in a position that could be legally damaging to me. Although I haven't gotten any paperwork on a hearing or anything I still don't want to put myself in that position where I could possibly violate something. But I also can't not let her talk to the kids. I feel like i'm stuck as to what I would like to do (I'd like to tell her to quit calling and texting since she thinks I'm such a threat and then maybe she will rethink playing these games) and what I feel I'm compelled to do which is to let her call the kids.

Will these childish games ever end?!!!

Wow, just wow to all these stories. Kids really do play the adults. I hate how the steps have to take a backseat and watch it all.

Can't their own parents see what we can see? I think the bio-moms are jealous. So they are going to believe whatever their children tell them. They like to be their salvation.

In reality, ALL of the adults need to be working together to help have a nice place where everyone involved can co-exist. We are ALL trying our very best. When ex's are throwing up road blocks at every turn it makes life far more difficult than it has to be.

If the adults could put aside their own feelings for one second and focus on the children it would be much better. The kids are acting out for a reason. I think it starts with whoever their role model is. Usually an angry and bitter ex.

Well the drama should end for at least a month now. The court put out a warrant for her arrest for failure to pay child support, she's made one payment in a year. They warned her at the court hearing and apparently she didnt' take it seriously. So now she will disappear like she did last time to avoid going to jail. as bad as it will be in the beginning the kids behavior is so much better when they dont' go on visits and they can stick to routine, especially the youngest who has ODD. So hopefully this is a blessing.

That is great news! Well, it is and it isn't. I am sure you would much rather have the routine with the kids. However, it's sad when a parent can't be in the child's lives.

I feel your pain! Never hurts to day dream and think of better and easier life. Am right there with you.

just an update...never got anything for a ppo and she hasn't come around since her warrant came out. so far she's missed 4 visits in a row. I don't understand why people like her can get away with being a deadbeat. if this was a man doing this he'd be in jail already for not paying child support and would have lost his visits years ago for not showing up for months at a time. but I'm thankful we have this quiet time with the kids while the warrant is out. they are doing so much better without her stirring up their emotions.

Just a warning, though, the whole thing about her being on the run from child support....not that I know the situation, but I can tell you two stories to illustrate why that kind of pressure can be dangerous. Here's what I know about being on the run...I had a friend who was male and he got into trouble for not keeping up with child support. He left the state and went on the run because he didn't have a job then and so could no longer pay the amount he was supposed to pay. As far as I know, he had paid faithfully for many years, but ran into problems at work and lost his job. To make a long story short, after about a year, he killed himself rather than face prison. I know of another friend, female, who was a very intelligent and kind person, but she was abused as a child and as an adult. She got into drugs and a bad boyfriend situation and ended up on the run for allegedly stealing from work. She was found dead of an overdose a few months later. So if you can reduce the legal pressure on this person, you might save a life.

scarclan, I hear what you are saying. However their mom is a felon and no stranger to jail. She has already been to jail for not paying child support. She's one of those types of people who like to play the system. We have gotten 1 payment per year. the court has given her ample time. For her this is how she lives her life, one warrant at a time. She is a drug addict and no stranger to that either. Child support is not the only thing chasing her...but that is no excuse to leave her children behind when the state sent her to rehab and gave her a chance, she just doesn't want to step up. she's been given the resources to change her life and she threw it back in the faces of those trying to help her. but we have no plans to lesson her amount of responsibilities for the choices she has made.