Wow ! I am truelly sorry you are in this predicament. Sadly there is way too much manipulation going on here by his kids, the ex wife and theyre dragging his parents into it. You need to be bold and pray if this is even the right man for your life. One He needs to have a serious talk with everyone and grow a spine to stand behind the woman he is supposed to love. Until he can do that he himself will have a very miserable life. And you are just wasting time. Im sorry you gave up everything to be with a man who can make no real commitment to you when I see you have been very committed. It is time to piss or get off the pot on both of your ends...So to speak. Time to pray about it alone , together and ask for God direction. I think deep down you dont want to leave but there may be no other option, yeh it may hurt but you cant be taking the back seat to his grown kids and an X. There was a divorce..Which means to cut ties.. Unfortunately it may even have to be his own kids for a while but until they grow up and realize Dad needs to go on with his life they will use everything to be manipulating him.. I wouldnt sign no damm prenup either.. Because after all a man is trying to make his life with you and then he needs to follow the order for which God has asked...God first, then spouse, family , job then himself. Even though he has taken on a second relationship if he is not willing to do that order of things it will fail..So you need to figure out whether to get out now or will he have a backbone or not..No backbone Id say cut your loses and run the heck as fast as you can..

I would have to say that I agree with 2newadvtrs on a lot of things. It is clear that his family has decided, amongst themselves, that you are not fit to be a member of their family. You fiance has chosen, by his failure/refusal to act, that he will abide by their decision.

The father's day fiasco is a perfect example of this. While he may not have been privy to their plans to have an all-out bash, to which you and your children were invited, he must have figured it out while it was going on. "I thought it was just going to be you and me...". The fact that he failed to stop this obvious affront is very telling about how much he values your relationship; whether he just doesn't or that he can be manipulated into hurting you so badly, is neither here nor there.

The bottom line is, he seems to be able to live with himself knowing that you and your children are outcasts in your own home; I did not say that he was comfortable with it, I just said that he is able to stand idly by as it happens.

My advice to you is to have an open and honest discussion with him about the nature of your relationship, without his family or your family around; while his family is a large component of the problem, the real problem is really between the two of you. If at all possible, perhaps an impartial third party (counselor/minister/etc.) could act as a mediator. When having this discussion, it is best to use "I" statements, rather than "you" statements. "I felt hurt, unvalued, and excluded when I was not invited to the father's day celebration." might be better than "Your family had a party for you, and you let it happen, knowing that I wasn't allowed to come. That really hurt."

If he is willing to have this conversation with you, and start making some changes, then the two of you might just come out alright. If he is not willing to have this conversation or make changes, then, I'm afraid, I cannot see a good reason to continue to subject yourself or your children to this sort of treatment.

I know that a father's first duty is to his children and a spouse second, but if he is allowing his children/family/ex to behave in such a malicious way at your and your children's expense, he is not helping anybody; he is teaching them that malicious behavior is acceptable.

Please keep us apprised of the situation, and know that I am praying for you.