Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
So we're in marriage counseling trying to get back on track, and one of the things that was brought up is that I'm not being supportive (I can see how it would look like that from his perspective because I've been trying to hold myself together and haven't had anything left to support him).
Anyway, one of our problems is that anytime that I don't say anything about something new he is doing (which is me trying to be supportive and just rolling with it), he just assumes I haven't noticed or something and he somehow 'got away' with it. So he only notices when I have a problem with something, and I don't get any credit if I act like I don't have a problem with something.
The problem is I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I don't have anything positive to say, which is why I've gone with just not saying anything. Does anyone have advice on how to be supportive (short of outright lying about things)?
Yeah, I guess we are supposed to lie
That said, if your spouse is hoping for compliments like, "wow you are so attractive to me" I think you need to lay down a boundary that that's not going to happen and that they need to find someone else in their life to give them that support. And quite frankly, there's nothing wrong with that. Your spouse needs more than just you for support.
Yeah, how about accepting me for me (I am hetrosexual) and loving me unconditionally the same
If he loves women and he is a woman, that means he's a lesbian. I realize he might not be able to accept that, but hey, that's what it is.
I can't speak...you look so pretty...to my HUSBAND! I just can't.
My husband showed me a picture of him with his beard. My eyes lit up, I smiled, and said WOW! You are a friggin handsome man!! He got sad, and apologized for showing me the pic. He asked that I never ask him to grow it again. He claims he is becoming who he is supposed to be, and the years of beards, and manliness were just a mask. It hurts my heart, but I cannot make negative comments, or I am being unsupportive.
It is all so hypocritical