Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
So my spouse and I visited the urologist today regarding penis function and sperm banking.
The doctor did a routine exam and found that my spouse has verocous veins on his left testicles. The doctor said that overall, it's fine, but that could affect fertility. My spouse could have a quick surgery to fix it, but from what I get from my spouse, is that he doesn't want to do the surgery. Personally, the surgery sounds like a good idea to me, but considering that he wants to move forward with HRT, it seems like a moot point.
As for the sperm banking, I was concerned because I have some infertility issues. But, the doctor said that one ejaculate session could provide up to 5 vials of sperm and he recommends they get 10 vials. He then said that we could do IUI a few more times, but after that, he would recommend IVF. I had errorenously thought that one session would provide just one vial, but I get the idea--if you only have a few vials, then you would just do IVF which I'm guessing would increase the likelihood of getting pregnant.
Anywho, but I guess the bigger issue is that my spouse may start taking HRT in the next few months. On the positive side, I guess I will figure out soon whether this is something I can live with. On the negative side, I just feel pretty pessimistic about the whole thing. Like, I know everyone is different, but I'm just really expecting that we won't be able to have sex anymore and he'll start looking like a woman to me. My spouse seems optimistic, but I'm not sure where his optimism is coming from. Even if the HRT improves his mental state, it will effect his body in ways that he might not be happy about (or I won't be happy about).
Oh well, I guess there's not much more to be done. *sigh*
As you know, my partner is due to start HRT in about a week's time. I'm really scared about what to expect. I don't want our sex life to end. I don't want him to start looking like a woman. He too seems quite optimistic that there won't be more than subtle changes but I think he is looking at it through rose tinted spectacles.
Think timewise, you are not too far behind me. It will be interesting to compare notes.
Good luck xxx
So sorry to hear you’re having such a hard time with this.
My husband recently mentioned starting a family before he begins hrt and I flat out told him that was a bad idea.
If you stay with this person and find yourself falling in love with his, her maybe adoption would be an option.
But from everything I’m learning, I am falling in love with his “her” and low key happy that we don’t have children because all of the up coming surgys are insanely expensive.
Feel better love!
Howcani, yeah, my spouse mentioned that he can start taking HRT once I get pregnant and I was like, "LOL absolutely not!" He really doesn't get it that this is so stressful for me.
I think ultimately he has a really hard time really understanding his feelings because his whole life he has really suppressed them so I don't think he has a good gauge of what he really wants. Like, I think that's why he ping pongs so much from "Oh I really want to do this!" to "Oh I'm not sure if I really want to do this."
Either way, maybe doing HRT will give him the final answer he needs? I mean, I suppose if his penis doesn't work, he'll figure out real fast if that's something he can live with or not.