Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
Hi everyone! It's been months since my last update. I've been meaning to update you guys but sometimes I just don't have the bandwith to re-rash everything. (I'm sure you can understand lol).
So, let's see! In December, I told my spouse that I wanted to get divorced. It really took him aback and it's been rough trying to manage his emotions. Since then he's probably been his most "normal" which has been rough for me because it seems a little too late. He's been wanting to go to another couple's therapist, so on Valentine's Day we went to see another therapist. I wasn't thrilled, but I figured that I could ask him about something he said--that he would start hormones once I was pregnant. I was confused by this because he said this recently and when he said this previously, I was clear that was something I wasn't interested in. At the therapy session, he became very angry when I mentioned this, he denied it, said I was lying that he said this recently and he brought up that I called him a tranny once. (I don't remember saying this, but it's possible.)
The therapist asked him what he expected my reaction would be when he told me originally that he thought he was a trans woman. He said that he wanted me to not react and to give him a hug. This made me really upset because I didn't react that way and honestly, I don't think I would be capable of reacting that way unless he was a friend or my child.
So, that therapy session didn't go well and that's when I hired a lawyer.
On the positive side of things, I got a new job! Woohooo! And it's going really well! It's so much less stress than my previous job and more money too! Additionally, I've made moves to freeze some of my eggs. I'm expecting to do the retrival in July.
So, right now I have the Summons and Complaint paperwork from my lawyer and I have to review it and send her any revisions. My spouse wants to see another therapist, but I don't think it will help.
I'm just a little nervous now cuz I can be really stubborn, and I'm not sure how I will react when this divorce goes through. I feel like I'm doing the right thing, but at the same time, it's a major life change that I wasn't expecting.
We live together still. We have a 5 year old daughter otherwise I would have been gone by now. I, whille this sounds strange, am a little envious of your pending divorce. I know its so difficult and you are so brave to do this. I just envy that soon to come freedom. We are technically separated but not official as far as legality. He does not wear his wedding rings, i do only for work or wen i have events because i just dont want to answer those questions yet. I havent changed my FB status though it doesnt have married anymore its just empty. I changed my FB name to my first and middle name not my first and last name.
He says he does not care if i have even outside relations with other men as long as I am happy and I guess because he wants me to stay here in the home. But does not want me to form any emotional attachments to said men but the only men I could have that with would be ones I know and hence an emotional attachment in place or I am sure I would form one. I am not very good at the friends with benfeits thing too much.
And yeah, I'm not interested in having an open marriage either. It's understandable.
I really like newstart's viewpoint--she imagined if one of her daughters came to her with the same issue, what would she advise as a mother? And that helped her take the steps she needed to do.
*hugs*