Spouses of Transgender Community Group

Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...

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Relationships & Sexuality
/ Spouses of Transgender Support Group

Troubled

song_bird
song_bird

My partner of 8 years is transgender (mtf). I'm very supportive of her, but I must admit that intimacy is becoming difficult. She isn't as interested in sex, cuddles or kissing. This is making me feel unattractive as I have been suffering from dismorphia since a miscarriage a few months ago. Is this normal pre (social and medical)transition?


I've tried talking to her about it and she says she'll try to be more affectionate but I don't want her to make herself uncomfortable. She is everything to me.

Beeslee
Beeslee
Currently going through the same thing with my trans female girlfriend. She has not had HRT or SRS and suffers from a lot of dysphoria. Sex used to be great but since she came out as trans it is very difficult for her. She sometimes has anxiety attacks during sex and hardly ever orgasms. I have a lot of hate for​ my body stemming from some old abuse issues, and it is very hard for me not to feel unattractive and inadequate. Luckily she is still usually fine with cuddling and intimacy other than sex, but I feel bad for needing constant reassurance from her that the problem isn't with me.

We talk about it frequently, and that seems to be the only thing that makes it work. I don't want to give up sex with her but I also hate seeing her so anxious and upset after trying to use her penis. She wants to keep trying but it is hard for me to enjoy the sex when I am worried about her anxiety. The knowledge that she gets limited enjoyment from the whole thing also makes it very hard. It's a constant work in progress.
song_bird
song_bird
Thanks for the reply, It's good to know I'm not alone in my feelings and worries. She means so much to me. I really want to make her happy. I hope that things will get easier for her after transition and We'll be able to share the physical affection that we've been lacking back.