Again totally spot on. I am thinking I am going to share that first one with my husband. He doesn't seem to understand how sex with him is different for me now.

I'm having such a shitty day. This makes me hate him even more. But you've done a great job again!

I shared a couple of your poems with him last night and he was just like "Ok?" And I felt my heart break a little more because I just don't think there's any getting through to him. I just don't matter to him and everything that happens that makes that clearer, it's like another slap in the face. Oh and want to know what his costume is for trick or treating tonight? He's going to dress as a man....
Apparently he's been wearing a costume our entire life together. I fucking hate him so much right now. :(

They get to enjoy both worlds... if we changed this around and made ourselves more male... they would never be able to get it up! (unless of course, they are secretly homosexual too) So, they get to make love to a real female and then pretend to be one, but can't understand why we don't want to sleep with a female. Because YOU are attracted to females NOT me!! It's very selfish and self centered.

Jax, my husband said something like that once on his Instagram account, that he feels like his man clothes are a costume and that he's tired of playing the part... It made me mad too. I thought, "Because you are a grown up!! GROW UP!!" I don't want to jump out of bed and clean my child's throw up off the floor and bed in the middle of the night, but guess what?!?! I'm the MOM!! That's what we do! No one likes to do adult things, but if we don't, who will? I wish too that I could be a kid and have my mom make meals for me and clean my clothes and I can hang out all day watching cartoons... but that's a FANTASY!! It's not my "identity", I might feel like a kid inside, but I'm not and I can't pretend to be, it's not fair to anyone around me.

As for your husband, the only reason I can think that he is dressing like a man this Halloween is because he secretly misses it. I think that these men are so insecure about being male that they fear it.... because it comes with the responsibilities of being an adult. But every so often, they miss being a male, because THEY ARE males!!

I feel that they are so pressured by the idea of going female that they overdo it. A man's brain doesn't change, they are linear thinkers... so if they are going to like female things and "feel" like they are female, they go with it all the way. If there is no one in their life to say, "Hey! You don't have to wear heels to be a female or put estrogen in your body to have female characteristics." Most of them have cheerleaders to push them further into the abyss of this transworld... and they are never satisfied. They like to blame society for their inner turmoil, and when they do commit suicide, it's blamed on everyone around them... I truly believe most of the suicides are because of the inner turmoil of never being satisfied with themselves. But what do I know, I'm not a doctor. (eyeroll)

I told him he can't go trick or treating with us dressed as a woman so it's not voluntary that he's dressing male. And honestly it will probably be his stupid skinny jeans and his (women's) windbreaker. So it's kind of neutral....

I wish he'd wear men's clothing voluntarily. But he threw a lot out. I have some t-shirts that I saved for sentimental reasons. I keep smelling them hoping to get a whiff of the old him...but no, the HRT even makes them smell different. SMH

That's gross (HRT)... I'm big on smells... and that would just be too far for me.

As for holding on to some clothes and smelling them for his old scent.... my mom did that when my dad passed away.... we are widows.... so sorry friend. :-(

birdie, I'm glad these poems can help you. Don't expect too much, but dammit... we need to express ourselves too!! I hate this, "You don't know how hard it has been to live my whole life living this lie..." line... as if we asked them to lie! I didn't ask for this! You did this! You lied to yourself and others, and now I'm just supposed to accept it!!! Where are my 30 years to deal with this crap? You had a lifetime, and you give me 5 minutes to process?!?!?!?

Anyway, all that to say.... you probably won't get the response you want, so be prepared, but at least you get to say it... because WE aren't the liars! We will tell them truth, no matter how much it might suck for them.

A few years ago, during a loved one's divorce... his wife was a pathological liar, and I was inspired to make this quote: "The only time the truth hurts, is when you are living a lie." Now it applies to my own life.

Athena, you speak my heart, especially the part of you that refuses to buy in to this bullshit. I even read a few of your posts to my husband and he agreed you sound exactly like me. Idk how old most of you are but we are in our mid 40s with grown kids and grandkids. My husband is being slightly more mature than some describe here, but most everything is the same. Love this post and discussion. So grateful for women who are not buying into this lie of society.

StrongerToday... welcome! My husband is in his mid 40s, we have Elementary aged children. Feel free to browse. This website can get a little confusing in its layout but with a little exploring, it will make sense. I have some more poems posted here. I'm on my way to church right now, but I'll get back to you in a few hours. Blessings.