Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
One of the things that continues to be a question in my mind is about how I thought he was happy. Most of the transgender stories I read are about a person who is severely depressed or who has such body dysphoria that continuing as they have lived their life is no longer an option. For my spouse, he really seemed quite content. Obviously I didn't know everything that was going on for him, but still he tells me that he has loved his life and appreciates his body. The most depressed he has been is since coming out and living with the pain he is causing those around him. Although some transgender women appear to get along fairly well in the world, there are many transgender women that seem to have a lot of difficulties. Transitioning can be a long and painful experience. Existing in this world as a transgender women also seems really hard and scary at times too. How is it that this is preferable, unless he was truly miserable? Yet, he says he wasn't.
This is what goes through my mind. I am truly at a loss as to how to answer as I face the same questions. I find it hard to wrap my mind around how happy he was to him wanting to make this change to become what will ensure he is a walking target for jokes, hate, and bitterness. ( he is 6 ft 10in tall and 400lbs) We have just started his transition more in private at this point but it is still exhausting and mentally draining. It is these thoughts that make me so angry at him. I am so grateful for this group it beings such peace in knowing we spouses are not alone.
Hugs and love
Natalia
My spouse read an article by a trans woman who didn't really experience gender dysphoria, but said that being a woman was just better for her even though she was relatively fine with her previous identity.
But she did say that there were mental things going on with her that didn't really fall in the depression category not the dysphoria category, so perhaps there were something going on with spouse mentally, but it didn't fit into a clear category.