Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
hello I’ve been in a relationship with my husband for 6 years. We recently got married and he recently told me he has felt like a women and wants to transition. I am okay with his transition and I’m happy he’s finally able to embrace his true self but I’m left feeling lost and confused and guilty for feeling the way I am. Really looking for some support and help with how I feel.
Why are you feeling guilty? ALL of your emotions are valid, so just let them be and don't beat yourself up about it. You have done nothing wrong, so let go of the guilt. It's good (from his perspective) that you want to support him, but you also need to figure out what you want for yourself. This is a two-way street.
There are many others on this forum who are in the same situation and you will understood and supported by them, so just take it slow, give yourself a break and learn from others' experience. We're all here to support you!
What are you confused and feeling guilty about? Transition is a very hard road for both parties, and nothing to feel guilty about.
Have you talked to your husband about what he wants - complete transition, hormones, surgery, social transition? There are so many different 'levels' in this. Do you know what is involved?
What are YOUR feelings about this? Can you live with another woman in a lesbian relationship? What about children? Hormones will make your husband infertile, so maybe you need to think about sperm freezing.
As most of us say here, therapy is really important, for both of you, both individually and as a couple. Have you looked into that?
Good luck, and we are here to listen and understand.
You are not alone! I understand the guilt, and I wish it were easy to not beat yourself up. For me being honest with my partner about my feelings complicated things a lot, so I need to deal with my current self deprecating nature on my own.
Are you seeing a therapist? I’ve found this to be an incredibly important thing. You can say all of those things you feel guilty thinking.
I’m concerned for a lot of us that our empathy is being taken advantage of. Marrying you before being honest with you puts you in a difficult position. Has your partner explained why they didn’t tell you prior?
Best, and know that we are here for you!
-Y&L