I'm going to copy and paste my response from a similar post:

For the first 9 months after my husband came out to me, I was in complete shock. I didn't know it at the time. I became is # 1 supporter, his defender and his cheerleader. Inside I was hurting so very bad though but I pushed it down.

I finally had an awakening of sorts and realized that I was hurting just too much and I could feel myself slipping away. Becoming a woman has consumed my husband regardless of the fact that we have 2 small children. Everyone he loved and cared about has been put aside on his quest to fulfill this need he has had for so long.

I filed for divorce 2 months ago. I still love him so very much and wish we could have the future that we planned but he is so blinded by this. Sure, he might come out of it someday but I refuse to spend years waiting for that possibility. Besides, who's to say he would even still want ME at the end of all of this? So I understand the desire to hope/want things to work and I have no doubt that it will for some, but unfortunately the odds are against you. But only you can make that choice and only when you have finally realized if this is what you want for yourself.

In a loose quote (I can't find the exact post) from a feminist blog about this topic; when she told her therapist that she intended to stay with her husband (this was right after he came out) her therapist said "I support your decision but you're in for a world of hurt." And that's all this has been for me anyway, is a world of hurt.

Keep this in mind when others warn you about getting out. I would offer the same advice but I know that you can only make that choice once you have come to it, if that makes any sense.

Here's the blog: https://transwidow.wordpress.com/
She can be a little radical sometimes, in my opinion, but other times she hits the nail right on the head.

You have to be honest at the beginning, no matter how it may hurt them. They love you. In the beginning, I thought I was Superwoman, SuperGirlfriend, SuperWife, SuperProgressive, but my spouse was also not out to anyone and it didn't seem like it would be a big part of our lives, just crossdressing once in a while for stress relief. Now that that is clearly not the case, I feel like I am letting my spouse down even more because I downplayed my struggle for so long, and now I can't. Be honest, as much as you can. Even saying, I am scared to tell you this because I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want you to feel ashamed of your authentic self, but because I love you, I'm going to be honest, and share with you where my struggles are.

You need to consider what your needs are and if they are being met. Are you capable of being sexually attracted to a woman. This may take some time to figure out. Some people I have read about have found that they are not attracted to women in general, but only their S.O. after surgery. Some find the change to completely kill any sexual attraction at all.
Is your S.O. still taking your feelings into account even when their own are in such a state of disarray? Communication is key if you want things to work out.
You can say ‘I love you, this is a lot to take in, these things are confusing me, can you help me understand.’ You can even tell your S.O. that you need to work through things and need time to think.
The period where they want you to refer to them as one gender in private and another in public is hard. You will be constantly stressing about accidentally letting their secret slip. It gets easier once they go public. At least it did for me.
Only coming out to you so far is a show of trust that you will not hurt them. It is also a test to see how comfortable they are with a bunch of strange urges they are trying to sort out. It is a lot safer to try a dress on and have you tell them they look pretty, than to put that same dress on and walk out the door.
As far as I have seen a lot of things don’t change at all, and a lot of things change a lot. I still have to mentally correct myself, changing husband to wife in my head and it has been about six months. You obviously cared about this person enough to marry them. So long as it doesn’t turn into an abusive relationship why not see if you can love this woman the same way you loved that man? I won’t lie, it is going to be an emotional roller coaster. You are likely going to have to deal with depression and dysphoria from your S.O.. Are they worth it?
So long as you keep communicating you can help them sort out their emotions while they help you sort out your own. You will both come away with a better understanding of one another and ideally a strong relationship you know can weather hardship.

I want to tell you that in my experience, it can get easier. Remember that for every sad story, there is a happy one out there. They're just harder to see, because all too often happy people don't post.

Here is what advice I can give you from where I am in my own journey.

Number one is that communication is the most important thing you can establish at this stage. There are ways to gently let your spouse know the ways you feel. Try being specific; instead of a general statement like "this makes me uncomfortable" say what really bothers you about it. For example, "I don't know if I will still be sexually attracted" or "I want to be supportive but I don't understand how you feel."

Some gender therapists will invite spouses to join certain sessions or set up their own appointments. I recommend this, especially if you have no-one else you feel you can talk to. My fiancé and I are headed to counseling; not because our bond is weak, but because we want to strengthen it even more to prepare for the road ahead.

The last bit I have for now is practice. If your spouse has chosen a new name, practice using it when you are alone or in your head when you refer to them. It will feel awkward, but if you put in the effort you will realize that while the name may change, the person underneath remains the same.

Hopefully this brings you comfort. I wish you well.

I have been there. I spent the first month just crying alone in the bathtub and night and being supportive when I was with my partner. That was a disaster. Once I started going to therapy things started improving. You can't face this alone. 1) Get on Reddit and look at r/mypartneristrans
You will read such a variety of stories. 2) Get a therapist.
My partner is still closeted and that remains hard for me. But you have to let them have their journey and have yours. And have one together. My partner and I are staying together. I have no question about that. But if you aren't in that place be honest. You aren't not supportive by not being able to stay.

I am going thru the same thing right now. I love my husband so much and he loves me he says he wants to try not to transition because I said I couldn't deal with it. I don't want to be married to a woman. Now we are stuck in this limbo.

Hi, I know how you feel and just joined this group because I'm feeling confused, angry, upset and don't know what to do. Do I stay, do I leave? We have a son so it makes it harder but I wanted to talk to people in the same situation for advice

Thank you everyone, for your replies. We have decided to stay together. We've been very good about being honest with each other and I feel like the worst of the freak out is over. I'm nervous about what things will be like when we get to the actual physical transition with hormones and all that... We're trying for a baby because we want at least one more before the hormones make it difficult. I think we've got a leg up on this because I'm pansexual. That and my S.O. has been very understanding about my feelings too. It has gotten easier. Thank goodness.