Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
hello all, I'm not exactly sure where to start. My spouse came out to me a little over a month ago that he feels in his heart the he is a she. I accepted this 100% and support her! She was in a downward spiral. So much so it got to the point that I cheated and was planning on leaving. Due to her coming out, I chose to stay. All of my questions as to how he could treat me the way he did, made so much more sense! With her being true to herself, I finally see my soulmate for who they really are! I'm the happiest I have ever been. I'm still scared though. She says she is not attracted to men, and only wants me. I believe her, what if things change with hormones though? What if she decides she doesn't want a wife? I have so many mixed feelings about everything, and it's so hard for me to talk to her because she already has so much on her plate, I don't want to add to her load.. Like I said before, I am the happiest I have ever been! I still miss having my husband. I miss my knight in shining armor. I am so scared, and don't know how to talk about my feelings, and I just really need support from others who have gone through this. I need to hear from people who's marriage has survived! I want my marriage to survive more than anything. I need people who understand how I feel. I know this is a rambling post. I am sorry for that in advance!
Welcome aboard... don't worry, rambling is okay here :)
The best advice I can give is, go to couples therapy sooner rather than later. Like seriously, find a therapist now, even if you think you don't need it. It's the one thing I really regret about when my wife came out; not going to couples therapy. My second piece of advice is to ask if you can go to doctors appointments with her to just be there for moral support (my wife never asked me to go to an appointment because she felt that it would make me uncomfortable).
My wife came out to me around this time in 2015, we had been married a year after almost 6 years of dating. I am very supportive of her because I absolutely love her, and still to this day think she's my forever person. In the beginning, she said she didn't want to lose me, and wanted to work through any grieving of the loss of my husband with me. Almost 2 and a half years later, I've come to find out that all the change that both of us were going through was too much for her. All of the change had really put a strain on the relationship and in January of this year, she told me that our differences are irreconcilable, even though I'm willing to keep trying. I'm completely heartbroken.
If you love your wife-to-be make sure to take care of yourself, and see a couples therapist to work through things together. And then even if things don't work out (which I hope they do work out if you love her) you can kind of understand why, and that'll soften the blow, I think.
It sounds like you have a great chance of making your marriage work.
Wishing you the best of luck.