Spouses of Transgender Community Group

Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...

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creative77 01/05/2021

Hi, I'm new and have been looking for someplace that it's okay to talk about what we are going through. I too have no one to talk to about this other than my husband. I have known he liked to dress since we met, it has been an on and off venture for him mostly. Mostly off. Over the past year his depression and bipolar have been more active and he has been more into dressing, wanting to do this all the time. He says he wants to come out but then says no he doesn't it's just between us. He is in an online group that is very much into changing into themselves. Including having other members telling him to do the hormones and check into therapy. I totally agree with the therapy and have told him countless times lately he needs it but my words go unheard. It's been a struggle with covid also, this has really gotten him paranoid about the disease to the point of not leaving the house. It's a strain on me also which I'm trying my best to understand and deal with.

Is anyone else's spouse also bipolar and do you see the dressing more strongly during the depression?

Moonlady 01/07/2021

Hi creative77. Welcome to the group. My spouse is not bipolar, so cannot answer you there. He does like to dress at night mostly when every one is in bed as I have my mom and brother living with us. No one else knows but me. He doesn't want to be open about it yet. He has gone through therapy and is taking hormones. I think the therapy would help your spouse. Maybe in time he'll consider it. With the pandemic going on, maybe he feels more comfortable dressing more as a way to relieve the stress. It's not easy living with a trans but we work through it. Hope things improve for you.

creative77 01/07/2021

Moonlady, thank you. I’m the only one who knows also. We have discussed it and decided its better not to tell anyone. He isn’t going to take the hormones either. That was a long discussion between us. The pandemic has caused more stress and sure that has caused more dressing since we don’t get out right now.

It is a lot to deal with, he is very concerned that I have had no outlet. Knowing you aren’t alone is a huge help. Things will get better and I hope all goes well for you also.

Moonlady 01/08/2021

I think for me and my spouse, we do love each other. He may not ever be able to come out revealing he is tg. I've come to accept it but if he were to ever go the full change, I don't know how I would handle it. I am glad as well to have found this support group here. We all have different struggles but on the same subject of having a spouse that is tg. There are days which he can drive me crazy with his excuses on tg and no one to talk to on this, was stressful for me. I'm glad to have joined here. I'm sure others will join in soon.

creative77 01/09/2021

Moon lady, I can relate to not knowing if you can handle your spouse going full change. I told mine I could not do that. He understood. We love each other and talk about this a lot, sometimes to excess! Lol. I also have days when he drives me crazy with things. Sometimes it’s better to vent in other ways, so hoping others will understand here.

Moonlady 01/12/2021

Hi creative77. How are things going for you lately? Not too bad here. Guess because there are things he needs to be busy at right now. I think when there is something to keep busy with, less time thinking of his dysphoria. Hope everyone else is doing okay.

creative77 01/12/2021

Moonlady, doing well here too. There’s been some up and down with the bipolar but otherwise doing better. Daughter and granddaughter came this weekend so that helped too. We haven’t been with them since October, have FaceTimed several times and talked but not the same as one on one. I’m hoping he will start painting again so that will give him something else to think about also. We are staying in and staying healthy right now, hope you are keeping safe too.

Moonlady 01/13/2021

Hi creative 77. That is nice that your granddaughter and daughter came by to visit. I have a daughter and granddaughter as well. She is single, her ex has remarried and she hasn't found mr. Right yet. It is hard to see them as well with this covid going on. I do miss them. So your spouse likes to paint, that's good. Hopefully he'll get inspired to do so. Well, we try to stay home as much as can. My husband has things to get done and most times it is in town. I stay home mostly as I got sick from something a few times. Trying to stay safe here as well. Maybe I'll get into making some wire wrapped pendants again. Learning something new. Be safe out there.

Cora 01/15/2021

Creative, I don't know if my ex is bi-polar, although in the past, he has mentioned that he might be. He never dressed; if he is bipolar, I would say it would more come out with cooking, if anything.

I can definitely see how your spouse may want to dress more to deal with stress or to deal with being bipolar. My ex came out to me just before I was to start fertility treatments, so I feel like stress may have something to do with what happened.

I'll glad you have found this space to share your feelings. *hugs*

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