Spouses of Transgender Community Group

Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...

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Relationships & Sexuality
/ Spouses of Transgender Support Group

New and confused

AL1120
AL1120

Im 26 and have been with my partner for 9 yrs. I was told last week that my husband is trans. Ive always been a supporter of the lgbt community and i myself am bi so the after part isnt nessisarily terrible for me but i seem to be taking this really hard. Im not quite sure how i feel or why i feel that way. Any advice?

Ldmessing
Ldmessing
It is hard to discover that you never truly knew the person you married
AL1120
AL1120
He always just seemed comfortable with his masculinity. I never really saw any red flags. I just don't know how to cope other than just getting over it.
Cora
Cora
I think regardless of who are, it's a shock. There will also a lot of changes that will be happening, so that can take some getting used to.

You are mourning the person you used to know and love and the future is probably a bit scary since it's a big Unknown.

But take your time to see how you feel. It's a lot to take in, so be kind to yourself and take it day by day.
gallinarosa
gallinarosa
A good therapist will help you sort out your feelings and make sense of them, but there is nothing unusual about feeling shocked or overwhelmed (or a huge array of other things) after getting such life-changing news.

*hugs*
ajk
ajk
Your perspective and feelings will change throughout this process, too, so don't be surprised to go through ups and downs. Someone on this site before compared it to the grieving process, with periods of denial, depression, etc, and I've found that to be a good comparison. I don't know that I have any advice to give, as I am struggling myself, but just know that we are all going through the same things and your feelings are normal.
AL1120
AL1120
Thanks everyone. Theres deffinatly already been some ups and downs. Nice to know others understand.