Hi Apollonia72. Welcome to the group. I think a lot of us struggle with the fact our husbands wants to be female, a transgender. I never expected this as well and no one to talk to on it as no one else knows. That's why I am here to seek support. We love each other and working through this but there are times where his needs in being female can drive me crazy. As for resources in helping to understand transgender, probably do a search online. Maybe someone else here can help with that. I know I have seen a documentary once on where this couple stayed together despite the husband going female. They worked it out, the kids came to understand this. I guess it depends on you and how you want to live with this. Everyone's story is different. I'm still with him and I plan to stay. I don't know if my comment helped but know that you can come here to chat.

Thank you. Your comments are helpful. I am sad, angry, isolated because I can’t share what I’m going through with my closest friends or family. I don’t want to burden my partner with my doubts and fears.... I am also Christian and believe we are called to love one another. I am a hot mess and want to know that I can stand by my Spouse for better or worse. I just wish what was necessary to make him happy wasn’t crushing me!

I know it is difficult when you have no one to turn to. I felt the same way when learning the truth about my spouse. I don't doubt his love for me or my love for him. I hope it is the same for you and your spouse. Has he expressed in wanting to come out in the open with his tg or will this be just with you at home? Have you thought about going to see a therapist? I hope things will get better for you and find the answers you need. Take it to prayer to God.

We are waiting until our son is 18 which is about three more years before we say anything our 20 year old daughter knows and that’s it he does not plan on telling anyone specific but he would like to get on hormones. He said he has no plans to have surgery but the whole thing scares me a lot a bit. The statistics are not that great regarding the mental health of those who make transition. I worry because he already suffers from anxiety and depression. Thank you for sharing with me. It is nice to know I am not alone! Prayers!!!!!

Hi Apollonia72. That's great that he doesn't want to do the whole surgery thing. My spouse feels the same way. He has been taking hormones and feels a lot better with it. So I think it would even help your spouse as well. It may even improve his depressed mood. Your welcome for the share. Prayers for us both.

I have found the Straight Spouse Network podcast to be very helpful as well as the book The Other Side of the Closet.