Spouses of Transgender Community Group

Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...

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Sylph 11/14/2017

Well after much encouragement from me, he finally showed me 'she' today. So he got ready while I was at my aerobics class and was ready when I got home. We were both shaking with nerves. I came home to find him with a pair of my dangly earrings and one of my necklaces, eye make up, a bit of lip gloss, fluffed up hair, a round necked tight top and breasts. Big breasts. He didn't look ridiculous - to be honest, he makes quite a pretty woman, for a 62 year old guy. I held his hand, kissed him and we sat on the sofa and talked for a hour or so. The only thing I couldn't actually do was to hold him. Maybe that will come, but to be honest the breasts were a bit too much for me. But that is another 'step' we've got through. Difficult but had to be done, and hopefully next time will be easier. He's back in male mode (kids came home from school) but is still wearing the shape wear, which I am still uncomfortable with. It makes him look curvy, it just doesn't feel right somehow. We have joint counsellling next week, when we will discuss all this.

He has just told me that he's going to be away for most of December :( He has to work - if it could be avoided he would avoid it, he will only be here for a total of 8 days in December, until we go to the UK for Christmas. The timing is terrible, as we know we really need each other at the moment, so we both had a good cry about that. It sucks.

One more day until he goes back to the UK again. It's been nice having him here for more than two days. It's my birthday on Friday, and the boys' on Saturday and he won't be here. That sucks too :(

gallinarosa 11/14/2017

Good job, Sylph. I know it wasn't easy. The breasts would have thrown me off too. I don't find them particularly attractive on CIS women so if they suddenly appeared where they hadn't been before... Well, it is good you find him to be an attractive her. Baby steps will get you there!

Do you find his demeanor changes when he is dressed? Just curious.

I'll try to remember to wish you a happy birthday later this week. Hang in there while he's gone. Hugs!

Sylph 11/14/2017

Thanks, GR. No, he was exactly the same. I thought his personality might seem a bit different or something, but no, it was just him with tits.

zindagi 11/14/2017

Hi Sylph,

I was wondering the same thing if his personality seemed different - its reassuring to know that it wasn't. I have never seen my husband in a female mode in person and I feel like it would be really difficult but if his personality remains the same i think i will feel much more comfortable.

17whoaminow 11/14/2017

Oh girls, you're hoots! At least your partners are working with fake ones. My partner wants to grow his own BIG tits. Yep. And he envies mine, which pisses me off. Whatever. I have seen my husband in full on female mode and at home I'm cool with it. It is when he wants to move it to public places that I get squeamish. Embarrassed? Ashamed? I don't know. But, I try not to call attention to myself, and I think he can't help but call attention to himself in full on female mode. Luckily we haven't had to address that because he stays androgynous. But, we both know it could change. We aren't focusing on it, we are just enjoying where we are right now.

I have such a peace letting things lie. It's great. I'll pick the backpack of burdens up when it becomes that again.

Leonie64 11/14/2017

"it was just him with tits" - oh Syl, that is just what I needed today! I've seen my partner in female mode lots of times (one definitely gets used to it) and he's like it pretty much all the time at home now, unless we have company. It would have been fairly nerve-wracking for both of you though, I get that. I'm with you GR about the breasts, and fortunately he's given those up now - he's happy with the padding in the bras he has. And he's just bought some swimwear, as we're coming into our summer now. In terms of personality, it's definitely still the same only more comfortable/happy and that's really obvious. Plus he's toned it down over the years so it's age/body shape appropriate (I have a sneaking suspicion he sometimes copies me but that's ok).

17, sorry that must be tough (the desire for tits) although I'm glad you're in a good place right now. I'm fine with going out in public if that's what he wants, and we've done it a few times now. Although he wants to be sure there's no chance of running into anyone we know. He 'passes' pretty well and to be honest no one has even noticed, or if they have they have said nothing. And we live in a fairly conservative place although it's slowly changing.

Syl - happy birthday for Friday xx

gallinarosa 11/15/2017

I told my husband about this post and we both had a good laugh about big breasts. I told him if we ever got to that point that he would need to give me an extra warning if he was going to put on exceptionally big ones :) Thankfully, he said he is not a fan of over-sized breasts. LOL.

For my husband, the changes to his appearance actually make him more insecure and awkward and it makes me feel equally awkward. Plus the insecurity makes him seem kind of wimpy which is not attractive. That is how he starts to seem different to me. Plus, it is hard for me to be supportive of the changes when I cannot see any of the happiness they give him.

Gutted 11/15/2017

My husband daydreams about having breast implants off and on. He just talked about it again the night before last and gave himself a boner. It was all kinds of cute and I'd probably be down with that. The thing is, I worry that if he gets actual implants, he's not going to be able to have it both ways anymore. He normally toggles back and forth between a male presentation and fem (mostly male). It'd be pretty hard to pass as male with obvious breasts. I understand that having real breasts would allow her some cool fashion choices she can't enjoy with body forms. Does this mean she's moving further down the path or just fantasizing out loud? It seems like she would be locking herself into a presentation with that decision.

Cora 11/15/2017

GR, I feel like I have the same experience. Ever since this came out, my spouse has seemed even more nervous and depressed than he was before.

I suppose I can understand that in the sense there's a lot going on. But I thought this was suppose to make him feel better, not worse. I guess, it will probably get worse before it gets better?

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