Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
My husband recently told me he had always fantesised about being a woman since he was a kid a week after I told him I saw him wearing my bra while he was masturbating... I'm in shock! How could I have not known??? There is not one thing about him that is feminine. NOTHING!
He is still not sure if he is TG, a cross dresser, does he have Transvestic Fetishisim, is he wired wrong when he thinks of women in general, does he have a sex addiction, or does he have Autogynephillia? We don't know. What we do know is that he cannot stop the thoughts or urges. His biggest thought and desire if to have breasts along with long hair and smooth skin.
I am a wreck! I'm going through what feels like grieving for someone who isn't even dead. I have a roller coaster of emotions... mad, scared, worried, grief, denial, hoping there is a cure.... any advice would be appreciated!!
Irene
You are correct that you are grieving. You are grieving for the person you fell in love with. That is normal. You are on a roller coaster with no brakes and plenty of downs. I am married to a trans. At first he thought he was just a cross dresser. I found out after 25 years. At first he would only dress at home. Then I wanted to know more so I did some searching and found a group that met locally. 45 min away. I made contact and found a wife who would be come my best friend and life saver.
I can't answer how far your husband will go. The main thing is you put yourself first. Don't by into that you have to support him. Yes, you should be there for him. But, you have do what is best for you.
If you still love him stay. If you can't picture your self with out stay. It will not be easy. Some of us stay but some go. It is really up to you. If you stay find a group that will support you. I recommend finding a support group that supports both of you.
As far as the cure. I am sorry there is not one. I would give anything if there was. All we can be is who we are. You have a right to everything you are feeling.
If you stay set limits. Only do what you feel comfortable with.
If you need to talk I am here
I'm just not sure if he is just still in denial when he says he has no desire to transition. Is his denial because of society,the fact that it would be very difficult for him to pass as a woman, or out of fear of loosing me.? He says that if he could do hormones just to calm his thoughts (so that he doesn't get so sexually turned on when the thoughts of being a woman come in his head), if he could just develop some breasts (his biggest desire), and smooth skin and features women have. The thing he says that stops him would be the loss of a sex drive (which would stop our sex life).
He LOVES wearing women's clothing. He says he started out around 13 years ago trying on one of my bras...(I had no idea!!). He says that he did try on one of my tank tops and a pair of my panties but my things are too small... He says he has never bought anything for himself. I was in the phase of "if it's just a turn on for you sexually" I'll get you your own. So I bought him a bra, a pair of legging (something he loves on women), and a feminine top. But now... I feel that I am trying to be @accepting" that he desires it more that it's not a secret.... am I feeding it? I feel that if I didn't let him dress sometimes around me that he would do it secretly. I feel more in control and not wondering what he's doing when he is dressing alone.. It feels like he is cheating on me when he is masturbating to the fantasy of himself as a woman... he is having sex with him as a woman....
Do any of your husband's fantasize like this? My husband says there is never a man involved in his fantasies and is not attracted to men. When I read what's on the internet, most say that when they sexually fantasize about themselves as women that they fantasize about them having sex with men because women want men. My husband says he doesn't feel like that. It's him pleasing his womanly self.
We are still in the phase of "is he a Transgender a cross dresser, does he have Transvestic Fetishisim, or a new thing I found Autogynephillia."
He just doesn't fit exactly in any certain category.
Did you women wonder these things as well?
What had your sex life been like since going on HRT?