Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
I can't understand how I feel my life is over, I'm devastated, I'm a mess, I can't stop crying, my heart and spirit broken and yet he just goes on as life is normal. All my hopes and dreams crushed! There is no joy, nothing to look forward to.
I have to try and act ok for my babies but it's getting harder.
I cry when I think of them not understanding why daddy chose a frock and a handbag over them. They're so young. I swore I never wanted my kids to grow up in a broken home - but what can I do?
Yesterday I saw an old couple walking along holding hands and cried - that won't be us.
I can't live with a tranny - it sickens and repulses every fibre of my being.
I feel so deceived. So angry, so angry. How do I get over this??????
I have to try and act ok for my babies but it's getting harder.
I cry when I think of them not understanding why daddy chose a frock and a handbag over them. They're so young. I swore I never wanted my kids to grow up in a broken home - but what can I do?
Yesterday I saw an old couple walking along holding hands and cried - that won't be us.
I can't live with a tranny - it sickens and repulses every fibre of my being.
I feel so deceived. So angry, so angry. How do I get over this??????
I am so sorry you are in so much pain. All of your feelings are normal. It is OK to be angry and confused. To use an overused phrase, you are not alone. I am glad you found this group. Maybe you can find some comfort here. If you haven't already, I encourage you to read through the posts on this forum. Others have found a way to work through this difficult situation. You have taken the first steps towards your own healing.
Part of what you are going through is mourning. You have had a significant loss. The husband, marriage and future, you thought you had no longer exists. This can be very traumatic. Not something you will just get over.
Take care of your children, and take care of yourself. Don't destroy your health and well being in the process of trying to keep things OK for the kids. Find people to talk to. Or at least one person, that is not your spouse. If you can afford therapy or a few sessions with a mental health professional, by all means use that resource. Find a friend, relative or two that you can talk to. Keeping it inside and secret is only going to be destructive to you. It really helps to have someone close to you who knows what is happening to talk to. Develop a good support system. You are going to need it.
You are entitled to be married to a man you love, trust and are physically attracted to. Love, alone is not enough. If your husband refuses to see what pain his behavior is causing you, shame on him for not respecting your feelings!
As far as my experience goes, and what I am learning and reading about individuals in transition, their behavior only intensifies. The only solution for you may be to get out of the marriage and move on with your life.
I can not emphasize my next point enough: Two people who end a marriage that isn't working does not create a broken home. A happy home with separated parents may turn into the best gift you could give your kids. In this day and age of blended families and single parents, 3 different generations under one roof, be open to the idea that there are many ways to create a whole and happy family. One, mom, one dad, two kids and a dog does not necessarily a happy family make! If you can't live with your husband as a tranny, don't do it for the sake of the children. It isn't worth it. It will break you.
It is going to be hard to get yourself back on track at first. You have had a large shock! Eat well, sleep, be with people you like, still do the work and activities you like to do, even if your heart isn't quite in them. Hug those babies. They will be your joy and are your future. Watch them grow, watch them learn. Listen to their laughter. Soak in every smile as if it was oxygen. It is OK if they see you cry. Your life isn't over! Just a chapter of your life. Find a way to take control of what happens next. Baby steps. You can get through this.
Courage,
Herstory
Reggie