Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
After we decided that he would leave and he left 6 months ago, I've had more emotional space. I didn't realize how manipulative he was until now.
This, I just remembered and can see how it prolonged our 20-year marriage and kept me quiet about our secret.
We have a son and he would tell a story about a teacher friend who had a young student who innocently shared with the class his father's habit of dressing like a woman at home. The teacher reported it to her principal. What happened? My husband, whom I am divorcing, doesn't know. But he talked about the possibility of the child going into foster care.
This scenario scared me so much!
Thank God, I left that web of deceit and secrecy. And my son is out of it, too!
He needed me for emotional support. I believed that he had to find out who he was. I thought that he'd come up with something definite. Not so. For years, he kept flipping. And I closed my eyes and ears to what I didn't want to see or hear. We were both in denial.
At the moment, he's on the path to becoming as much of a woman as he can. I'm so glad that he's not here, and I don't have to listen to his confusion.
It was scary for both of us to end it. The catalyst was risky sex on his part with anonymous men. I was shocked when he told me, and I was hurt. But we then both realized that we couldn't continue the charade.
He always wanted to be in control, so the joint decision helped. Since then, he tried backtracking, but I knew it was the end for me.
I also accepted that he wasn't playing with a full deck, so I stopped dealing with him as though he was. I stopped talking with him about boundaries, for example, because he could not understand. I simply looked ahead to the time when he would no longer share the same house.
Birdie, once you make the decision to move on without him, answers will come to you. You don't need to tell him anything until you are ready. Information is power. Use it to your advantage. I am finally learning this.