Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
We've been married for almost 2 years now, and have known each other for nearly 8 years. We are 23 and have no children. We have truly had a wonderful, loving marriage.I knew before we got married that he occasionally liked to crossdress, and was able to not be bothered by that. I always liked men that didn't stick to strict gender stereotypes, so I just saw it as an extension of that. About a year into our marriage, he informed me that he felt like a woman a lot of the time. Again, being a "part time" woman was something I was able to move past, and even support. About a week ago, he let me know that he identifies as a woman and experiences body dysmorphia. He had his first appointment with a therapist yesterday, and it was a really positive experience for him. I, on the other had, am so scared. I think I've ignored how I really feel for awhile now and am just now facing reality. The idea of losing my husband makes me physically sick, as does the idea of telling my parents. I truly want happiness for him, but I don't want to lose my happiness in the process. He was the man of my dreams, and no matter how supportive and on board I try to be, deep down I feel like I am grieving his loss and putting of the inevitable. He loves me so much, I truly believe he would suppress his womanhood for the rest of his life if he knew how I felt. But I love him far too much to ask him to make a sacrifice like that. I am completely at a loss, and have no idea how I'm supposed to proceed.
I was miserable and afraid and thought I might lose her, but we really ended up growing closer. In the end she became physically more female looking but the things I really love about her (her kindness, sense of humor, honesty, her beautiful eyes and smile) stayed the same.
That's not to say it has all been simple; I still struggle with her trying to change her voice, sex is still difficult and I am still a little afraid of how she might change after HRT. But overall I would say it's best to try to be as supportive of the changes as you can but keep the communication as open as possible. If you are feeling uncomfortable or concerned or afraid you should certainly try to talk through it so you can both be as comfortable as possible. Chances are that the changes your partner wants to make aren't going to change the core things you really love about them.
As far as telling your family, I am not sure how to advise you. I have only told certain family members, and I am honestly not comfortable with people thinking I am a lesbian. I have some friends who understand and others who have seemed uncomfortable with the whole thing. In the end I have decided she is worth the trouble and that the people who don't understand don't matter. But it isn't easy.
I wish you both the best and hope you know that you aren't alone.
Now we've been married for 3 years and things have turned from a 'part-time' thing to wanting to transition to a 'full-time' female. At times, I feel like I committed to a relationship with a man who I didn't even know fully, and that is truly scary! I want to support him, but it's very difficult. From conversations of him wanting a breast augmentation to having his bottom procedure, it is truly something that I cannot grasp and come to terms with.
I love my husband so much and want to support him, but feel as though I'm losing him at the the same time. It's such an indescribable feeling. I don't what I will do going forward in this process, but I will try my best to be the most supportive and loving wife I can be.
I wanted to know how you are doing? I had no clue whatsoever that my husband thought like this. I wish he had told me before we got married. I saw a life with this man that now tells me he feels he should have been born a female. I love him and I want to support him but i am just not attracted to the female side. I would not wish this on anyone. My husband does not want to change anything but would like for me to just accept his cross dressing at times. I want to support him but do not feel good about this.