Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
Probably everyone will think I'm koo koo for Cocoa Puffs here, but I was wondering if anyone out there has considered disappearing and starting a new life? I realize not everyone can do that with children and other various circumstances. My situation is that I have no surviving (immediate) family members, no children, and although I have some good friends in my town, I constantly think about living a new life where my transgender husband won't find me, and I can just be "me". In other words, not tied to him in any way shape or form. I absolutely hate feeling like I'm lopped in with him/her and a lifestyle I want to have nothing to do with. If I'm going to wind up in a little apartment and become some crazy cat lady anyway, I'd just as soon do it where I can be left alone. Has any one had similar fantasies along these lines?
I think it is a great fantasy! And if it is do-able, I'd say Go For It! But having a support system in place can become very important, depending on what life throws your way. If you make friends easily, and want a change of scenery, why not do it? Life is short.
I guess you could say that I invented a new life for myself after my marriage exploded. Went to college, got myself a career that I love, moved almost 200 miles away from everyone I knew (brought my kids with me), cultivated some new interests (and some old ones!)...just got on with my life...but one that was very different from the stay-at-home wife and mother that I used to be. Here's the thing, though: You don't need to throw away what you already have to turn over a new page in your life. The changes I made were very gradual...it took over 6 years to get myself into my new life. I used my support system to get me here, and I still go back to see family when I can.
I think that the "start over somewhere else" fantasy is very common. But I really didn't need to move away and disappear. I just needed to explore what interested ME, focus on what I wanted, and have things to look forward to. Maybe you could start to do this where you are now, and if you thrive in your new endeavors, and like the excitement of it all, take bigger steps toward your happiness?
I'm not sure of your situation, but if I was still in a marriage with my ex and could untangle myself financially, and I didn't have kids, I would have gone ANYWHERE to get away from him! As it was, I found that I could ignore and separate myself from my ex quite well, after I got some practice in. I have no place in my life for him now. But I don't need to avoid him or hide from him. I just mentally distanced myself and let him deal with his own life, focusing on my own instead.
Best wishes Jen.
Shelly
Jen