My partner is 63 so even less likely to develop big breasts, but after 6 months, they are quite noticeable. He doesn't wear a bra but says he is looking at binders for social situations (as he doesn't want to come out publicly). My kids haven't said anything but he does wear loose tops, or a scarf covering that area most of the time. The fact that he has put on a bit of weight may be a way to explain if the kids ever do say anything. I hate moobs too. He also says he's happy to never go swimming again, which makes me sad.

I do cope though, by telling myself they are now just 'part of him' and as I love him, I have to love them too. But it's hard. I can cope with them sexually and he loves having them fondled. It's the only way I can get him turned on, so maybe that's the only way I can get any action out of him! At other times I tell him I hate them, as most times I do! I still have not worked out how I really feel. Is my (some times) revulsion only due to my conditioning/prejudices? Or is it really me? I still don't know.

Did you ever see the film Shirley Valentine? The bit where the guy kisses her stretch marks? In that, he says they are beautiful because they are part of her. I'm sure no one actually finds stretch marks attractive...I think that is my coping method. It's the only way I CAN deal with it.

Good luck, I do understand how very hard this is, and how our partners don't seem to understand enough.

I guess I see stretch marks are a natural part of life especially women who have had kids but men with estrogen induced breasts are not natural. I feel like he needs a bi sexual woman or a lesbian who underneath still prefer she men if that makes sense? Then it’s like the best of both worlds. But I am neither bisexual nor a lesbian so I am just not comfortable at all. We have a huge summer social life with our pool and I always loved summer and now I dread it. I don’t even want summer. And off topic he joined Facebook and it actually took everything I had to accept the married to him request. I know I sound horrible but I don’t even want anything linked to him right now. I am up in coming in my local politics and I’m republican so you can gather how that is going to pan out. And he says not doing this made him depressed and even suicidal so I’m glad he’s not but now he’s put that on me so is that Fair? There are days I wish I could afford to live alone and just get divorced but with a 5 year old and working part time due to not needing daycare then I just can’t.

I don't think you are horrible for disliking his breasts. You are heterosexual and therefore not interested in breasts on your sexual partner.

It sounds to me like your very unhappy in your relationship. Are you guys in counseling? There are so many options for low income and single mothers especially you may consider. I don't think people should stay if their not happy. He is who he is, you are who you are and you should both be happy. I wish you luck

My spouse has breasts that are noticable and I am mortified. He doesn't present as female and no one knows but me. He binds them when he goes to work so not as noticible, but at home and weekends, there they are! He does wear loose fitting shirts, but still noticible. This summer we have family trip.that has an awesome pool. I don't know what he plans to do, but I want to enjoy it. I'm sure he'll have a reason why he doesn't want to go to the pool. He is 57 and the hormones have increased his breast size. It really irritates me because I am small breasted and he is more "endowed" than me! It just makes me angry and depressed. I just wish our spouses would understand what they put us through.

Misled, what a slap in the face, I feel your pain

Ldmessing, thanks for your understanding. I wish none of us had to deal with this stuff, but I appreciate knowing I'm not alone.

Sadly, you are not alone

you are not horrible for having preferences. We are meant to connect mind, body and soul. It seems dehumanizing what our spouses are putting themselves (and us) through. They are hurting people, not playdough that you can mold into some imaginary object. I suspect he knows that large breasts are likely. That is a main reason they take those drugs. .... I am separated from my husband who is now planning castration. Yet some people paint me as the bad guy for not accepting his plans. Why does MY identity not matter?

You probably know this, but I want to be sure that you have accurate expectations. As his breasts grow, his genitalia shrinks.

this should be our mantra "Why does MY identity not matter?"

My spouse would say, "My identity doesn't threaten yours." And I'm like, sure, but we are in a sexual relationship so your identity doesn't align with mine. He just didn't get it. He just wants what he wants and that's it.

My husband's identity does impact mine. Wedding vows even include the phrase that the 2 become 1. Spouses are connected. It affects my identity as a wife. When he changed his name, it appears that we are in a lesbian relationship. That status is not something you can assign to another person and it does not fit me. Etc.

I am glad to know I am not alone in all of this. It’s a group no one wants to be apart of for sure.

It definitely sucks to be in our shoes and I feel your pain. My husband says he's adamant that he won't come out publicly and won't take hormones or do anything that's really noticeable, such as growing breasts. So I should be grateful, except I'm not because it's not that simple. When he sees my breasts I know he wishes he had some. I can see it in his face and he's even told me that on a couple of occassions. This is a complete turn off for me to the point that I have been saying no to sex for a while now, because I have no idea whether it's because he wants to have sex with me or so he can imagine what it's like to be me. I am finding it very difficult to process. Hugs to you all