Oh gosh that is hard. Does he know you see his Twitter? Perhaps this is the only way he is able to let you know? Have you told him you’ve seen it? Obviously this is something you are going to have to talk out. Sending love xxx

Wow, Ld, I am so sorry. To find out when and in the same way the rest of the world does is just so cold and disrespectful.

As to the news itself, that just seems to be the way it works. Once the excitement and newness wears off, they have to take the next step. I did have to sign off on the surgery, so you may have to as well - unless he forges your signature. So, you will have to have that discussion one day.

Wow! I understand shame and hiding, but if he is posting this to social media and not telling you that is much more personal. I really don't know what I'd do if I was in your situation, except confront him. But what response would make this okay?

My husband had changed his gender on social media to transgender without telling me and then when a friend who thankfully already knew what was going on saw it (mind you he is not a FB friend of his so he had it public) he told me he didnt know it was a public change. I was devestated. I had since told him to remove any of my friends and block them if he was going to do anything like that again. He deleted the gender status all together. My husband started hormones without telling me either

I am so sorry LD. We are here for you. You deserve better. *hugs*

This is my biggest fear. Not even the GCS, but hiding news and information from me.

People on here frequently say that you have to figure out your own needs and make choices based on THEM. I never understood that, really. Until I imagine scenarios like this. I know one of my own needs is to honesty, openness, and transparency in a marriage. Especially now after so much trust has been broken, I am not able to relax and trust as I once did. I can understand why trans-spouses act like they do, and I can imagine scenarios and relationships where that is okay. But I know the *I* can't live like that. For me, this would likely be a dealbreaker. It may take some time for you to understand what it means for you but given the way your spouse has proceeded, it looks as though you will be confronting that very soon. Good luck, we are here for you <3

Many tears and hugs
~gr

My heart goes out to all of us who are dealing with this issue. I certainly never imagined when we married that my husband would one day tell me he wants to live the rest of his life as a woman.
My husband started taking hormones on Monday. He did tell me he was starting although he originally hid that he was exploring the option. Starting hormones has always been the line in the sand for me, a tangible act that he is becoming a transwoman. He tried to convince me that the changes will be slow and not apparent right away. Who is he kidding? Is that really suppose to make me feel better? To me it's like saying you can be a little bit pregnant!

I knew the day was coming when he would start taking hormones, I thought I had prepared myself mentally however I feel as if I've had a reality slap. The day has arrived, there is no going back.

On another note, I found this article by Lisa Jaffe Hubbell that might have been posted before however I wanted to share it. It was actually written in 2015. I found great validation and share similar feelings in what she wrote:

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-0713-hubbell-how-to-handle-a-transgender-ex-husband-20150713-story.html

With Hugs and appreciation, ZiaLee

Thank you for the article Zia. I love reading articles that talk about the heartbreak without being resentful.

I found the article interesting, but also a bit upsetting.

In the article, the author states that a trans friend told her that it takes about 2 years post surgery for the trans identified person to settle into her new self. Just past the 2 year mark is when my spouse really started to ramp up the discard process and started to withdraw her support of me and the children.

I have always held out hope that the kind and gentle soul I fell in love with and married would re-emerge, but I guess this is my spouse settling into her "true" self. Bummer.