Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
I love my boyfriend with all that i have and i know that this transition is hard on him. Believe me i know, but why do i guilt myself for having a hard time coping with this transitioning as well? Hes had his hysto and top surgery, been on t for almost 8 years, and is now waiting for bottom surgery. Bump after bump on the road to bottom surgery has him distant and suicidal to be frank. Our flame is dying it seems. I love he and he loves me. That hasnt changed, but having so many issues on this process has him not loving himself which in turn shows as distance from himself and from me. He wont let me touch him for more than a few moments because of his dysphoria. Hes disconnecting from his body and that has me disconnecting as well. I know rationally not to take it personally, that its not me, but it feels as though it is. Im extremely lonely and self conscious lately. I feel like im not good enough because i cant seem to find a way to help him and snap him out of his funk....
It's really important to remember that it's not your responsibility to rescue him from whatever funk he's in--it's not even possible for you to do that. He needs to find it in himself to pull through. It is only your responsibility to work on your partnership, and to be true to yourself so you can bring your best self to the partnership. Please don't feel guilty about having a hard time coping... all change is hard, and having a partner who is going through a rough time is also hard, and it's totally normal to be struggling yourself. If you love each other, then I don't see any reason you can't work though it. I hope therapy, individual and maybe couples, is a possibility. Maybe journaling would help you? Or a conscious effort to rekindle the flame in other ways that aren't sexual, like purposely going on dates or doing new activities together?
Good luck, hoping for the best for you guys.
I'm surprised that your partner is really keen on bottom surgery. I thought most ftm don't attempt it cuz the options aren't that great right now.