Spouses of Transgender Community Group

Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...

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3 weeks on

Sylph
Sylph

And he has boobs. As I think I mentioned before, he is also using a kind of suction pump thing on them, so I don't know how much of the growth is due to the hormones, or how much from the pump. He is that desperate to get boobs, he won't just wait for the estrogen to work the magic. I feel very confused. Sexually, we are doing great, and I love his boobs in the bedroom (something I never thought in a million years would happen). They turn him on massively too, which sometimes makes me wonder (wishful thinking) if this whole thing really IS just a fetish. But he does say he loves them and feels they should always have been there. That he has always felt wrong as a man. And feels right being more female - still not totally female. He's still having full erections and loves his penis just as much as the boobs. 


But out of the bedroom I look at him differently. Is that odd? I still hate the way he dresses. I hate the padded pants he wears. I hate seeing his boobs sticking out. I hate seeing his female underwear showing when he bends down. I suppose if we are getting there sexually, that's got to be a good thing? Progress? 


Cora
Cora
Huh. Interesting comments Sylph! I think identity and sexuality are interesting things. I can see how you can still be satisfied with your sex life, but in your daily life it's odd. Your relationship isn't just sex and it isn't only your every day life either, it's both. *hugs*
Sylph
Sylph
That is right, Cora. It somehow doesn't seem so bad when we are in the bedroom - maybe it's because when he's naked I don't see the clothes? But I see the boobs and feel the soft skin, so why isn't that worse?
He hasn't been wearing the nail polish the last few weeks - he only has it on one fingernail on each hand anyway. He said he thinks he'd better not But that has NEVER upset me (except when he ran out of subtle and wore red to my son's football match). I am FAR more upset by the tucking and the leggings, which he told me he would stop wearing. Instead he wears them every single bloody day ALL day, except when we go out. He just doesn't get it. It's infuriating.
gallinarosa
gallinarosa
Sylph, I guess your feelings are odd but then again, what about all this isn't odd?! I have no idea what is "normal" anymore. To me, identity is harder to deal with than sexuality. It feels more "to the core". With sexuality, you could be roleplaying and just exploring for fun, so it seems less serious. I don't know. Definitely something to keep examining!
angela1965
angela1965
yes i myself am going thru what you are,he wears his panties everyday,even to work as a truck driver,gets home,straight away dresses up,says he feels comfortable,our sex life is great,even thou hes fully dressed in lacey nities,and fake boobs,the best way he told me to think about is,its not my sexuality,its my gender,ive been waiting for him to meet a bloke,cause arent women attracted to men,my head all over the place,lots of hugs to you,we are not alone xx
Sylph
Sylph
GR, that is what my fear is - with sex it could just be fun and role-playing. That can't last forever. Although while he is still capable of penetration we can and do have more conventional sex too. But that may not last. One of his testicles has definitely shrunk, so it's beginning :(
I know that accepting him socially is really the main thing I have to work on. We can't live on sex alone!
Angela, not all women are attracted to men, ask any lesbian! My partner says he loves women and all things feminine, but there is a bit of bisexuality in there too, which of course worries me for the future.
Hugs to all xxx
AnnieToman
AnnieToman
oh, my, i understand your men well, your right its a fetish, a study has been done one this believe it or not. they found 81% of heterosexual men that engage in crossdressing get sexually turned on when they do it. but it can escalate , it can turn into a desire to be one to. and the more he looks like one the more he gets his high. it can become addicting, my advice is to try and keep him satisfied at the level he's at. don't appose him that will drive him away from you, think of it as an addiction, the endorphins it creates are no different then any other high. its just that if he goes into HRT he will loose testosterone and after a while his erections will suffer to, men wearing woman's panties is not a great idea, long term effects of tight womens panties will effect his testes, and could effect his erections to it can change the shape of his penis. all this happened to me but mostly while on hormones. but with me it was dramatic. if he has to wear them make sure there is room in them and not tight ones.
AnnieToman
AnnieToman
as i was finishing i notice the talk of bi-sexuality . in the above mentioned study the bi-sexual men had a even higher degree , of sexual turn on then normal men crossdressing. if you have one of those men, watch out, you better love him a lot because things could get way out of hand . he may meet with others and explore his sexuality, in other words cheat on you. just be careful depends how much he loves you. keep your love strong and his interests off of other men .god i hate testosterone, but without it you dont have a man