Chrissy, I wish I knew how to send a hug to you...I'm so sorry. You will be in my prayers. Be strong, Woman, and remember he's the loser in this. It hurts now, but you will make it. Just be tough and believe in yourself. Cindy

I'm so sorry Chrissy. He is being disrespectful, and clearly is not worthy of your love. You deserve more than this.

You can't change, won't you don't acknowledge! And if he didn't do anything wrong (in his warped mind), then you've done the right thing to walk away. Clearly he has some problems, which will follow him around for the rest of his life.

Much strength and love through this difficult time.

Hey Chrissy,
This news is devastating but in a way it must be validating. You knew you smelled a rat, now it is out in the open, at least part of it. Don't be surprised if you find out more and worse stuff.

There is no way to live with someone in denial once you realize what is going on. You are right to realize that.

I think you will be surprised how naturally your healing will take place. Once you are out of a toxic situation, nature takes its course. Just let yourself feel what you feel and listen to others who tell you what they see. Don't listen to anyone who does not respect your feelings.

Crissy: What a horrible time for you. I am so sorry to hear how he has hurt you. But, like Thriver said...now you see the rat. Once truly seen, and no remorse on his part...you can see your direction clearly. Let me say this...I was once where you are with my X husband. I felt alone...afraid...concerned about the future. But, I left with only a suitcase on a Greyhound bus. I found a job and made a better life for myself. It wasn't long before I began to realize more and more how glad I was that it was over. I thnked God for it every day....the knowing...the revealing of what this person was doing to me. My life became so much better.

What I should have known though I didn't. Was that I needed to look inside myself and find the reasons that I let him get as far as he did. The warning signs that a man is not doing right by me or making me happy. An inward thought process that allowed ill treatment. I determined when I found out about my current H's porn usage that I was going to find the thinking flaw in me that allowed his behavior...allowed me to feel alone while in a relationship....allowed him to refuse to validate me and my feelings. Now that I have learned many of those warning signals I know that I will do better for myself in my future life.

SO WILL YOU! You will have a better life after you get past the mourning of this reallly bad relationship you've been in. So keep the mourning as brief as you can. Look in the mirror and tell that beautiful person that YOU are going to take care of her. That YOU are going to do things that make her happy. Then you can't lose. I'll be praying for your quick recovery to a better life.

Crissy--I can tell you first hand this will be light at the end of the tunnel. Its been 5 weeks yesterday he moved out and we were completly done forever. This time it is forever. The first couple of weeks I did my best to keep working out, call friends, and stay one here and stay connected. Do what makes you feel good. But do cry...do cry and get it all out of your system. The thing that helped me the most was my pro and con list I made. The pros were less than ten by the time he left and the con's were 2 pages long. When you feel the ability to pick yourself up and look outside the black hole sweetie you will the light of life like you've never seen it before.

I was living in such darkenss and untrust for the last ten years and just now I'm starting to feel alive and I dont need to babysit an adult man who really didn't want me. The cold hard fact is what Sheenre says. What we allow them to treat us like. That is what we allowed them to do to us. You are a brave warrior and you should stand up proud of yourself. But take the time you need an greive get it out then start building on your new life.

Taste the sweet sweet freedom of not having this addiction run your life for you. I recently was out and felt so happy inside from what I can only describe as "Peace" inside myself. I stareted to skip like a little girl and dance like I was alive again....there is definitely a better way. Once you come to the light don't let his behavior or him tarnish your thoughts he does not deserve that opportunity to own your emotions. Live on...

Well I can tell you that I'm sitting here right now crying because of all of your responses. Each one of you touched on something that made me feel better or made me feel that what I'm going through is normal and that I'm not alone. Thank you - all of you for your kind words of enlightenment and encouragement. ((((Hugs)))) to you all!

While we have each other, we are never alone.

I struggle to cry. I am one of those people who is always a tower of strength for everyone else. But when i do cry, its a massive release of of pain and hurt that i have bottled up for a while.
So think of your crying as a release for you, release it all, release your hurt and pain, until their is no more left.
Just like when the rain clouds clear, and the sun appears, so will you. You will see things much clearer. Its a process we all need to heal.

I'm so sorry for your pain. God has a plan for your life and He will carry you during this difficult time. Your burden may seem heavy now but it will get lighter.

Like a good friend on DS told me, sometimes you have to let the water out.