I call him "Finn" because that's the nickname my BF uses. My BF wanted to name his son Finnegan but the OW (Shannon) didn't like that name so they named him Chancellor, Chance for short.

The name Chance freaks me out because I feel like it's an insult to me, as in, "So you took a Chance and fucked around on me and got a girl pregnant. That's the Chance you took." Or, "You really wanted to have a baby so you took a Chance."

Interesting you brought this up right now. My BF is picking up the baby for the evening and I asked to go meet the baby. It just blurted out of my mouth. I'm not sure why. I am hoping that if I meet the baby, I will stop having all these ugly thoughts about him and will be able to stop thinking of him as a monster. Maybe meeting him will help humanize the situation for me. But, I think I will always call him Finn.

well when I first found out about the ow and oc (a little over a year ago when the oc was 7) I didnt want to know his name so i called him the bastard child. eventualy I asked his name which is derrick (i have so many negative connections with that name uggg), then for a while I said your kid or him. Once I met him I was able to see he was just an innocent child who I suprisingly didnt have negative feelings about and so I was able to call him by his name. I have on occasion when I am seething with hurt and anger refered to the ow and oc as the c**t whore and her bastard child but usualy by his name. My kids and he have over the past 8 months become aquainted pretty well and they spend almost every sunday with him and my H. My h and I still ive seperately. That is weird that she is changing his name. although I beleive last i heard my h oc wanted my h last name and i was ok with that. the ow was not but i think it is happening.

hesters pearl, how did the baby meeting go? did it help or hurt your mindset? for me it totaly helped. I hope it went well.

I call the OC by name or a shorten version of it. When I am mad I will say your son or your kid. When this first came out he was known as BB (Baby Bastard) after meeting him (which I met him before my H, through the OW) I wanted to make sure she knew I held nothing against the child, so I meet with her alone once a month while waiting on the DNA process.

I just say him. I find it werid to say his name. We never talk about it unless we know court is coming up. His name is Caleb and she did not give him my H last name. She is actually divorce and even changed her last name back to her madien name. So the little boy has her true madien name. I guess she had to do that b/c I am sure her ex-husband would have not liked her new child having his last name? The OW did not tell me H she was prego ever. The only way we found out was via a sheriff when he was about 4 months old. My H CLAIMS she never informed him ever and that after they slept together the one time they never saw each other again. I wish she would just at leaset say she is sorry to me for my son. I have emailed her four times and she never responds. I also wrote her 4 letters-no response. She will not speak to my H either.

Sad to say but yes I used Bastard child while she was pregnant..a lot. Once he was born, "Your "son" was mostly used. But after we started having regular visitations his first name just became easier.