As most of you know I'm pregnant and we just found out last Friday we're having another boy. Though I'm happy the baby is healthy, I've been dealing with how I feel in regards to OC (who we have NC with).

My husband now has 2 daughters outside of us (the first wasn't exactly an OC situation, since we weren't technically dating yet when he got her mother pregnant). This is most likely our last because my husband can't afford any more kids since he has to pay child support on both of his mistakes. I struggle and I am saddened by the fact I will never have a daughter. I hate that OW and his other daughters mother will always have his daughters and I will never get to have one. I see pictures of OC on OW's facebook page and she is really cute and I can't help but feel OW stole a daughter from me. If we were having a boy and OC never existed I don't think I'd care so much (though I'd feel saddened in other ways).

H is saying that all he ever wanted was boys so I should feel proud in that I'm giving him what he wanted and happy that they both have daughters because it makes it easier for him to not be involved (he is involved with his older daughter as much as possible, though she lives out of state and her mother makes it very difficult for him to have a relationship with her). Also that boys will stay with us forever (even when they grow up and get married), girls eventually leave their families for their man. I get all that...but it doesn't seem to make the feelings any easier.

I'm just rambling...but I have no where else to get these feelings out.