spouses and illegitimate children Community Group
Dealing with your spouse not only having an affair but a child as a result and how it affects your day to day life and the lives of your children.
It is more than two years since I found out that my husband was having a child with another woman. After a few months separated and me sticking to my marital "guns" we decided to rebuild on the solid foundation that we had before the affair.
I don't blame myself for the affair but I do blame myself for not seeing it coming. I was too self-centered and selfish to notice how badly he was hurting. I wasn't there for him. Unfortunately, his desperate grown-ass employee was there in a moment of shame and too many drinks. After some lies about cervical cancer and infertility he found himself worse off than he was before the affair.
That is when he needed my love and support the most, so I have been giving it to him since. I love and believe in him and he deserves it.
After hours spent looking for a group like you ladies have I came across many people saying that under no circumstances should there ever be any contact between the APs. A child complicates that. Regardless, I'm not having it. We have children together, but our marriage comes first. If she wants her child to have a relationship with her father then she needs to accept responsibility and deal with the consequences.
She isn't willing to do that, however. Though I have never been rude or threatening to her or her child in any way she has decided that the only way the two of them will have anything to do with each other is if I am not involved.
SCREW THAT!!! (I guess that's another topic though)
I haven't laid eyes on the woman in almost two years and she was a miserable looking pregnant lady. I've moved on without a specific image in my head but I recently found her facebook profile and was able to see her and the child (now 18 months). It has wrecked me. I am blown away by how many friends that she has that are so proud for her to be a mom,,,, of a stolen child,,, many of whom are married with children! The little girl is cute and looks very similar to our children.
We are currently going through the legal process of setting up child support payments for a child who lives 10 hours away and who's mother will not even communicate with us.
I don't blame myself for the affair but I do blame myself for not seeing it coming. I was too self-centered and selfish to notice how badly he was hurting. I wasn't there for him. Unfortunately, his desperate grown-ass employee was there in a moment of shame and too many drinks. After some lies about cervical cancer and infertility he found himself worse off than he was before the affair.
That is when he needed my love and support the most, so I have been giving it to him since. I love and believe in him and he deserves it.
After hours spent looking for a group like you ladies have I came across many people saying that under no circumstances should there ever be any contact between the APs. A child complicates that. Regardless, I'm not having it. We have children together, but our marriage comes first. If she wants her child to have a relationship with her father then she needs to accept responsibility and deal with the consequences.
She isn't willing to do that, however. Though I have never been rude or threatening to her or her child in any way she has decided that the only way the two of them will have anything to do with each other is if I am not involved.
SCREW THAT!!! (I guess that's another topic though)
I haven't laid eyes on the woman in almost two years and she was a miserable looking pregnant lady. I've moved on without a specific image in my head but I recently found her facebook profile and was able to see her and the child (now 18 months). It has wrecked me. I am blown away by how many friends that she has that are so proud for her to be a mom,,,, of a stolen child,,, many of whom are married with children! The little girl is cute and looks very similar to our children.
We are currently going through the legal process of setting up child support payments for a child who lives 10 hours away and who's mother will not even communicate with us.
To all of you sisters in pain, I hope you all have a few moments of peace and forget about the troubles for a while this holiday.
We all have very different stories but one thing is consistent. .. these OW are complete narcissists. They can't see past the nose on their faces and they think that their needs are the only ones that really matter. They use their child as an excuse... I love my husband. I didn't marry him expecting him to make choices this bad but he did. I can't imagine his life with her. I gave him forgiveness and grace.