Wow this ex wife sounds like a biotch. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with her too. She's definatly over stepped some boundary lines. Why would any mother want to do this to their 12 yr old impressionable child? I agree about you H taking control of the situation. He needs to do that like yesterday.

As far as the paternity test go I can only answer for here in Ohio. My H's OW was also married at the time and she refused to take the pat test in the hospital. That meant my H had to take her to court to mandate a paternity test. The child is assumed the OW's husband's child until proven otherwise. He (the spouse)will also have to have a paternity test done. We were lucky and did not have to get a lawyer or pay upfront. Becase the OW was on welfare, my H simply went to child support the day after the baby was born and they petioned the court on his behalf. IT took about 2 1/2 months to finally get the results. You can do a home test per say, but if it is his child the courts may someday make them do it again. It seems like the OW in your case wants to have the test done not only professionally, but most likely legally for your state. Is she and her husband still together?
The other spouse in my case wanted to raise this child as his own to keep his family unit together, but the OW divorced him anyway. He and I keep in touch occaisionaly.

I'd like to hope your baby drama ends soon, but it looks like even if this child is not your H's....you still have your hands full with this Ex-wife. On a good note you mentioned their daughter is already 12, so maybe you only have 6 years to go. Hopefully your stepdaughter wil start thinking for herself once she turns 18 if not sooner.

OMG! i can not believe his ex would take his child to see his pregnant mistress. what in he fuck is wrong with this lady, had he done this to her when they were together she would be so hurt and for her to do that just shows how evil and immature she is. i am so sorry you have to go thru this and i pray that it will be over soon. know that we are here for you and i just want to reach out and hug you. i am so sorry!

your stepdaughter has a mind of her own and someday if not today, she will resent her mother and her father for how they have treated you.

Oh,I know, WTF! I told you what my stupid ass stbx and his whore did. After dicussing and agreeing that we would both (my husband and I,only) sit down and break the news to our kids as gently as possible. Instead...one day while my two kids were on a visit with "dad". The ow (trampyp-ass whore) pulls up in a car. My gets out and hands my husband the baby and he in turn hands it to my child to hold. While he is holding the baby my dumb bastard of a husband retorts, "Oh, and don't get mad, but this is your little brother. MY KID WAS 11 FUCKING YEARS OLD!!!! WTF! He told me,"Mama, I was so shocked I almost dropped the baby", then he started sobbing. When I remember shit like this I really really really hate my stbx.
It is good for us to get every thing out. Holding on to all this pain and anger will make s sick. I love having a safe place to come and scream, cry, swear, and none of my sistahs here think I am "bitter" or "over reacting" or "negative" or "need to get over it". I love you guys. Dang, I wish we could have a freakin' vacation/ convention. That would be great. When I win the lottery, I'm flying ya'll ass roundtrip free to a tropical destination! Promise. Adios.

Well today I sent the OW an email due to the non stop harrassment for my H ex. I think I was really nice in it but, what do you ladies think?

keep in mind I have to do this from his account
)Mandi,
Due to some nonstop nagging from you new friend, I think it is time you, david amy and I all sit down and figure out a plan to how this is all goning to work if the child is infact mine. Also if you are 100% sure this is my baby amy and I would like to be there to welcome hin/she into the world. Let me know if this weekend works for you guy for us to all talk. Oh, and Mandi, Amy and I really do hope your pregnancy has gone well so far. let me know.)


So I figure if her H doesn't know that baby may not be his this should put a end to all of the harrassment, and will also force her to admit that she really doesn't know who the daddy is. She is due in 10 days and you know what I really can't wait.

Well it's not so much what we think, but what does your husband think about the letter? Did he help you write it? Does he even know you sent it? Also, do you know how the other spouse feels about all this? I can tell you for a fact the other spouse in our case still wants to kill my husband. I would never set up a meeting where the two of them would be present. We should be able to be adults, but the kind of pain this has put us though does limit some of our basic common rationality. A civilized meeting between you four seems ideal, but don't get bent out of shape if it doesn't happen, or if it doesn't go the way you plan. I pray the OW and her husband really want the best for this child and want the best for their own marriage to work. It may seem weird, but if the 2 of them can get through this, so can you and your husband. Wishing the OW loses everyting would only hurt you more and longer down the road. You may not think you have anything going for you right now, but you don't have the OW activily chasing your husband right now. That's a good thing that some us have not been able to go without. 10 days....till the reality gets a bit clearer.

SD- i am looking forward to that trip. i could use a vacation. i am baffled by how stupid, selfish and insensitive he is to hand your child a baby that he has with a woman who is not his mother. UUUGGGHHHH! that makes me crazy.

Amethyst-i feel your pain and i can not imagine how you must feel having to wait on another D-DAY! you have to do whatever is best for you and whatever feels right for you. my husband wanted me to sit down with his whore and come up with a way to get along for the childs sake. i refused because all i could envision was slapping the shit out of her over the table. i have a son who needs me and i don't want to go to jail. i know that she would have said the wrong thing to me or come off cocky and i would have had to stomp a mudhole in her ass, so the meeting was out of the question. plus i was not gonna let him bully me into sitting and talking to her to do what is right for their child. FUCK their child what about OUR child. don't get me wrong i hate them for what they have done to this child but i can not fix things for her i have to ensure that my son is not screwed up over all of this crap. do what is best for you and put everyone else and their needs last.

Couldn't have said it better myself Jae. Good luck and prayers going your way amethyst.

Yes, my H knows I sent that. See the thing about it is the OW refuses to give him any details regarding the child. The OW is going around telling everyone he is dad (which he could be), but as soon as her H name is used she hides and we do not hear anything, until the EX wife starts in (my only guess is from the OW feeding her crap, but the EX is a total bicth anyways and the OW know it). I really do think at this point the OW doesn't know who the dad is, and that is fine. She should tell people that. No, she is not after my H at this point and he will never go there again, that I do know as long as I am in the picture. I am just sick of it all. Yes, I could sit down in a public place with them, only because I know how hard it would be for her. At this point in time I have told my H that I will support him anyway this turns out, but that does not mean I am staying. He is clueless when it comes to skanks taking advantage of him and if he wants to be a dad to that kid then I will make sure his can, before I stay or leave. I am at peace with this now. My mind is not made up, but there is a feeling running through me telling me I will be okay no matter what. I will let you know what her email back is. Hugs to all.

can't wait to hear how this turns out and i hope that you soon get to leave this group and live a happy life with your husband.

Well, the OW read the email, but did not reply. The Ex-wife has now backed off as well. I can only assume it is because she hasn't told her H that the baby she is carrying may not be his, but I can only assume. I am glad that they have disappeared. My H Daughter (12yr old) is comming over tonight. This should be interesting, if her mom has been talking bad about us. Well I will keep all of you posted. Oh, I also found out that it is a Boy. That sucks because My H has always wanted a boy. Just another log on this already burning out of control fire. But, anyway this turns out, I will be okay in time. Hugs all

please let us know how this goes, we are here for you.

Well my SD came over on Friday, she was acting differant towards me then normal. Then her dad got home and we pulled her aside to have a talk with her about what is is she thought she knew, since the OW is now friends with her on Myspace, (Thanks to BM) She stood there and played dumb, so after she walks around my house and tells me I'm the only one at school that doesn't have this or that, can you buy me this. Keep in mind her dad is here, but she tells me to get it for her. My H finally put his foot down to these chucklin hen and told them that I am off limits and just as innocent as the baby and to leave me alone. We will see how long that last. The ex told him the only reason she told thier daughter was because she wanted her to she the ow pregnant. What is that gonna do for a 12 year old? But oh, well

WTF! she wanted her daughter to see her fathers mistress pregnant! please tell me what in the hell that would accomplish. i want to go upside this idiots head. please don't take this the wrong way and please know that it is not towards you but where in the world are these people from. i can not imagine taking my son to see his fathers whore pregnant, what is the reasoning behind that. well i know what the reasoning is-she wanted to piss you off. tell them all to suck your ass and go to hell and know that they are destroying these children. stupid stupid people. DAMN!

oregon, and my thoughts completely.

LOL!