Over the holidays I managed to read two unbelievable books: Living & Loving After Betrayal by Steven Stosny, PhD and Psychopath Free by Peace. They have both given me a different perspective on my past so-called marriage. I learned I have not had a marriage for 27 years of my life, but a scavenger fish hanging on for the ride. Living single is by no means my ideal choice of living, but I have so much less anxiety and more freedom than I ever even knew was possible. I eat what I want when I want, I go where I want when I want and I'm not bombarded daily by "I wonder what he is up to today" syndrome. I'm free now to not have to know or care. Do I still love him? Yes, I do. But not as my mate or even as a friend now, very sadly. We spent Christmas 2013 together last year, but I made decision this year for him not to share it with us in 2014. So it was spent with my two adult children and had a wonderful time. My decision is now NO CONTACT with him. Period--unless it involves our children or property issues. He has randomly texted me and ask for money--Im sure is from his ongoing gambling addiction or possibly for Christmas help with the OW & OC. He honestly believes I would or have the resources to write him a check for $6,000.00? Quote from Psychopath Free that should give you chills: "...they constantly wave their new partner in your face...Its a final attempt to drive you insane." "...Exes who stay strung do not understand that they are puppets to the psychopath. Instead, they feel that they are fulfilling some sort of beautiful duty as a friend---someone who will always be there for them. " "They don't see that they are the basis of so many fights--not because their friendship with the psychopath is special and enviable, but because the psychopath intentionally creates that drama."

Bottom line, it comes down to self-respect. What is our breaking point before we decide enough is enough and when we learn we have a right to be happy and free from the endless pain.